Rewind and Fast-forward
by SunMoonKunochi
Summary: Given a chance to do whatever you want and have no repercussions sounds like a dream come true, right? Well, given the fact that the downside is repeating your life over and over, with no way out; it kind of puts a damper on things...But not for long when you can prank a village, get the girls, and cause as much havoc as you want! Time-loop!
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, so I really shouldn't be starting a new story when I have three on-going stories already, but I don't care. I've wanted to write this for so long, and nothing anyone says can convince me otherwise.**

**It'll be purely humorous – intended to be, anyways, but I expect that I'll add some seriousness to it at some points – and not have any particular plotline, so I can just write it whenever and not plan it out at all. I'll warn you, though, it'll be full of hundreds of sexual endeavours, crass language, gaming the system and mindless killing. Ah, all of the things that I love.**

**Yes, this is a time-loop if you haven't guessed already, the one thing I adore more than anything in the world, and yes, this is so crack-y that it's almost ridiculous. But you can blame people like **_**Innortal, The Wandering Delusion, **_**and **_**ShaperV**_**, along with many more authors and authoresses that have created fantastic pieces of work revolving around time-loop and completely gaming the system. And now, it's my turn.**

**Let's hope that I can live up to their legacy.**

* * *

**Play.**

"My name's Uzumaki Naruto, and the demon in my gut is telling me to open the seal so that he can devour your souls and destroy the village. But don't worry, he's on time out until he learns that ripping people's heads off and playing catch with the Sanbi is a no-no."

**Rewind.**

* * *

**Play.**

"Yo, yo! The name's Uzumaki Naruto, 'ttebayo! Being a jinchūriki's my gig, and this whole test's gonna be a rig. Kakashi may have the sharingan, but I'm still gonna kick his bun! Sakura's into gay porn, and Sasuke has a tiny horn. Now I—"

"**_NARUTO!_ YOU'RE SO DEAD!"**

**Rewind.**

* * *

**Play.**

"The name's Uzumaki Naruto – remember it, it'll be the name tattooed on your ass when I own you guys."

**Rewind.**

* * *

**Play.**

"I am Uzumaki-Namikaze Naruto, son of the Yellow Flash and third jinchūriki of the great Kyūbi no Yoko. I don't expect much; only that my team mate's aren't hell-bent on revenge, fangirls, or disregard my father's wishing by spending their whole time reading porn and crying over his dead body, rather than getting on with their life. Oh, and by the way, Kakashi, the soul fragment of my father in my head says he's very disappointed in you. And mother says that she'll kick your ass when you finally pass on, 'ttebane."

**Rewind.**

* * *

**Play.**

"My name's Uzumaki Naruto. My likes are having orgies with my girls, making Tenten make that adorable squeaking sound, and when we involve ramen in one of our…_nights. _My dislikes are when someone interrupts our time alone, and when Temari's unable to make it since her father's being a dick – as usual. My dream is to have sex with each of my girls on every Hokage's head, as well as finally spawn my legion of children that will destroy the world in a fit of pranking and sex-deviant activities, and remake it into a ramen utopia. Kami bless Ramen. And the bountiful bosoms of kunoichi everywhere."

"Amen," Kakashi idly spoke up as he flipped another page in his book.

**Rewind.**

* * *

**Play.**

"K-Kakashi-sensei…"

Kakashi looked up from his book to see the (late) form of his blond student staggering towards him, one hand wrapped around his stomach and looking like he would pass out any second.

"Naruto!" Kakashi's only female shrieked out before he could talk to the blond, waving her fist at the boy who was slowly and agonisingly making his way over to them. "You're late, you idiot!"

Surprisingly, the boy ignored her and Sasuke's scowl towards him. Instead, he slumped forwards at Kakashi's feet, barely managing to look up at the man with wide, fevered eyes. "Sensei…"

"What is it, Naruto?" the jōnin asked calmly, even though on the inside he was rather worried by his student's appearance. He then proceeded to squat down to meet one of Naruto's grasping hands, as the other was still wrapped firmly around his stomach – which, quite frankly, scared Kakashi a little.

At Naruto's beckoning, Kakashi leant down more, his ear basically hovering over Naruto's mouth.

The young boy managed to gasp out "It's _free…_" before passing out.

After taking a good look at the black lines in a broken array on Naruto's stomach, Kakashi followed him shortly.

"Ha!" Naruto shouted out, standing up and dusting himself off like he hadn't just fainted away and caused Kakashi to do so as well. "Serves the bastard for finger-raping me again last loop."

**Rewind.**

* * *

**Play.**

When Kakashi entered the Academy classroom to pick up his brats, he wasn't expecting much. Just a fangirl, the last Uchiha who had some serious family issues, and his sensei's son who was, ironically, the Kyūbi jinchūriki, just like his mother.

He certainly wasn't expecting, halfway through Naruto's introduction – which was going slowly due to Sasuke's snide comments always interrupting – for the blond to snap and turn on his possible-teammate, shouting out something that could've been a technique. Except Kakashi had never heard it, and he had heard and mastered most jutsu that the Elemental Countries had to offer.

It was a distinct shock for everyone gathered when Sasuke vanished in a puff of smoke, only to be replaced by a rather bemused Naruto. And Kakashi meant _another _Naruto, as the original was off to the side of the Sasuke-turned-Naruto, looking mightily pleased with himself.

"Woah," Sasuke-Naruto said, staring down at his hands, "this is awesome, 'ttebayo!" The boy then stood up and began moving in a very Naruto-like fashion, sprouting nonsense about ramen and his cravings the whole time.

Sakura was the first one to react.

She let out a massive, warbling scream of "NOOOOOOOO!" before Naruto cut her off.

"Aw, can it," the blond scoffed before smacking her in the arm.

The pink-haired girl went up in a puff of smoke, and Kakashi wasn't as surprised as he had been the first time when a Naruto emerged from the smoke, already crying about being Hokage. No, more like _scared._

Then, oh so slowly, the three Naruto's turned their heads to look at Kakashi, freakily and uncharacteristically blank expressions on their faces.

Sakura-Naruto started to speak in a low voice, the words coming out in a playful manner that sounded rather like a chant. A crazed, cult chant.

"One of us. One of us. One of us. One of us."

Then, the chanting started from the Sasuke-Naruto, making it a duet of demonic-sounding children voices.

"One of us. One of us. One of us. One of us."

Finally, the original Naruto joined in, and like an unspoken command, their voices picked up in volume and speed.

"_One of us! One of us! One of us! One of us!"_

When they advanced, Kakashi let out a whimper of fear before hightailing it as fast as he could out of there.

Screw sensei's son and his obligation to Obito, there's no way he was being converted to a ramen-eating, Hokage-obsessed genin brat who wore orange! _What kind of fucking ninja wears __**orange?!**_

* * *

Wiping tears of mirth from his eyes, Naruto shared a high-five with his kage bunshin. "Oh man, that was fucking awesome. We have to remember this one for another loop. Do you guys reckon we could swap everyone in the village with a kage bunshin and do this on a larger scale? I want to finally see Kakashi-sensei snap."

"Eh," one of the kage bunshin shrugged, "we could give it a shot, that's for sure. It would only take a few loops to find out where and who Kakashi would turn to next, swap out the people he goes to, and—"

"Wait for the chaos," the other kage bunshin cackled, rubbing his hands together gleefully. "I like the way you think!"

The original Naruto face-palmed at that, again struck by how stupid his replicas could be sometimes, even after several repeats of reading up whatever he could from the library. "We're the same person, you idiot."

The kage bunshin in question stuck out his tongue in answer, before seemingly realising something. "Hey, do you reckon we should release teme and Sakura?" He exchanged a look with his fellow look-alikes, before they all shook their head in answer.

"_Nah."_

* * *

Screaming through the rag that had been unceremoniously shoved in his mouth by Naruto earlier on, Sasuke frantically tried to wriggle as far as he could from the person currently crawling up his legs, never mind the fact that he was in a broom cupboard and there wasn't much room in there for all of the mops and brooms, let alone two pre-pubescent teenagers.

"We're all alone, Sasuke-kun~!" Sakura sung out in what she thought was an alluring voice as she wormed her way closer to her crush, the bindings on her arms meaning that she couldn't use them to hold the Uchiha to her. Never mind that, though, she was sure that she could manage just fine without them. "Come here, Sasuke-kun, I have something I want to give to you."

Nearly beginning to cry, Sasuke wasn't sure what to curse; Sakura's ability to spit her gag out of her mouth at an alarming speed to coo words in his ear, or his brother. Because everything was his brother's fault.

Yes, the fangirl currently nibbling on his earlobe was all Itachi's fault. Definitely his. Oh, how that bastard would pay; for taking Sasuke's family, and for indirectly taking his virginity from him.

**Rewind.**

* * *

**Play.**

When Kakashi shushined up to the Academy roof after telling his students to meet him there, he was distinctly surprised to see one of his students already there. He was about to comment about the boy's speed, but was shortly caught up on what the boy was doing.

Namely, holding a spyglass to his eye and giggling to himself as he looked over the rooftops of Konoha to something that only he could see.

And judging by the direction he was pointing the spyglass at, Kakashi thought it was safe to say that he was looking into the female-only onsen that was nearby; lucky bastard.

Before Kakashi could ask if he could have a peek as well, his other two students came bursting out from the rooftop doorway, both of them panting slightly after obviously hurrying up the stairs. The girl, upon spotting Naruto, was instantly screeching about how he had cheated to get up here before 'Sasuke-kun.'

For his credit, the blond didn't flinch, merely flapping a hand at her in a dismissive manner as he continued to stare intently through his spyglass – Kakashi could only begin to wonder how powerful that object was, as the onsen was still pretty far away.

Sighing to himself, Kakashi decided to stop the squabble between Sakura and Naruto before it could really take off; he really didn't need to hear high-pitched, squealing kid voices this early in the morning.

"Alright, kiddies, sit down and shut up. I'm your sensei Kakashi Hatake, and I want to learn some things about you kids, so why don't you go ahead and say whatever you want about yourselves. You first, Bubblegum."

At first, Sakura had scowled at him, and asked what she had to say. But when Kakashi provided the answer of 'You know, your likes, dislikes, dreams.' she had blushed brightly and stammered out a response mainly around the brooding Uchiha next to her; as expected.

When Sasuke had said his introduction – if a few grunted words could be called that – Kakashi had been mildly disturbed by his dream, but not at all surprised by it. He had seen his psyche evaluation, after all.

"And lastly, you, Sunshine." Kakashi said, bobbing his head towards Naruto, who hadn't done or said anything during the whole introductions, only letting out a couple of giggles and adjusting his spyglass.

But now, the boy tucked away the spyglass into a very familiar coat – except it was a bright orange, rather than the original green – and turned with a flutter of his long, spiky ponytail and a tap of his sandals.

"I am…" the blond began in a rather grand tone, "the great and gallant, Uzumaki Naruto!" He then proceeded to hop about in a manner that Kakashi found all-too-familiar, and spin and flick his hair to send the golden locks flying. "Women swoon at my every move and men wish that they were as cool as me! The wind itself bows in my presence, and demons drop to their knees when they see me coming! I'm the tamer of evil, of lost souls and of babes! The very earth trembles beneath me and the sky roars in triumph of my feats!"

Naruto then struck a pose, winking at Sakura who, shockingly, blushed a bit at the sudden and suave move.

"Oh Kami…" Kakashi sighed, kneading his brow slightly. "Don't tell me; you're a pervert as well?"

"Perish the thought!" Naruto said in an offended manner, sweeping one arm across his brow in a dramatic manner. The image was ruined, though, when he turned with a lecherous grin towards Kakashi, offering him a thumbs-up. "I'm a _SUPER _pervert!"

**Rewind.**

* * *

**Play.**

"I can show you," Kabuto said in his faux adorable-genin-who-wouldn't-hurt-anyone voice, "with my ninja-info cards."

But before he could begin to show the special cards he had made, specifically to impress the genin teams in front of him – including Sasuke's – the blond brat in Sasuke's team was leaping forwards, drawing a pack of cards out of his own ninja pouch. "I challenge you to a duel!"

"A duel?" Kabuto asked, pretending to be completely taken aback by the whole situation, while on the inside he was snickering at the ridiculousness of the situation and everyone else's shocked look.

"Yep!" the blond known as Naruto said determinedly, brandishing his own pack of orange cards at Kabuto. "A duel of the best ninja-info cards!"

While he easily agreed with the boy's challenge, Kabuto was inwardly cackling madly over the fact that he would win easily. He was a master spy, and knew almost every key strength and weakness of the important people in the room. He knew the statistics of every village, and who were the people to look out for. There's no way he could lose.

"You go first," Naruto said to Kabuto, barely noticing everyone's interest in the scene he had caused – he was much too excited over the fact that he was doing something _new _and _exciting _in the loop. Coming up with new scenarios every loop was hard, and whenever he got a chance to shake things up and change things, he savoured it.

Offering Naruto a nod, Kabuto then turned to Sasuke offering up his cards. "Who do you want info on?"

"Neji Hyūga and Sabaku no Gaara," the Uchiha said instantly, his gaze hard.

After rattling off all of their mission rankings, teams and family information, Kabuto sent a barely concealed smug look towards Naruto, who was currently shuffling through his cards, looking for something.

"Aha!" the blond finally said, pulling out a couple of cards and pushing chakra into them. He quickly read over the information on them, nodding to himself the whole time. "Okay then; Hyūga Neji. It says here that he has a strange obsession with fate after his father, the twin to Hiashi Hyūga who is clan head was killed in retribution for Hiashi killing a Kumo-nin who had tried to kidnap Hinata Hyūga, Neji's cousin and the only girl her age to successfully infiltrate the male onsen. Also, the best kisser of her age. Like, damn, she's good."

Off to the side, Neji had an aghast, traumatised look on his face as he rocked back and forth on the ground, whimpering about his daddy.

Nearby, Hinata had blushed a bright red and passed out, leaving her teammates to tend to her with confused expressions on their faces and numerous questions buzzing in their mouths.

"As for Sabaku no Gaara," Naruto hummed, not looking at all that concerned with the chaos that was breaking out around him as Ino shrieked about how she was the best kisser of their age, and Sakura fought with her. "Well, he's the jinchūriki for Shukaku, the Ichibi. He's mentally deranged after being hated by the village for his entire life and Yashamaru, his uncle and the only person he trusted, tried to kill him. He thinks Shukaku is his mother, and enjoy killing people and long, lonely walks along the sand. His sibling Temari and Kankurō are terrified by him, but are powerful shinobi in their own right.

"Kankurō uses a puppet called Karasu, and secretly wanks to pictures of other puppets. He thinks painting his face makes him prettier, but everyone disagrees; it make him look like a little bitch." Naruto shuffled his cards, brushing off Kankurō's embarrassed and enraged killing intent that he was directing towards him. "And Temari is a fan-wielding, sexy bitch who's get offs are being a dominatrix and a man who can get her tickle spots."

With a cheeky grin matched with innocent eyes, Naruto looked up at the stunned Kabuto, tuning out the enraged shouts being directed towards him. "I think I just destroyed the last bit of your life points."

**Rewind.**

* * *

**Play.**

"Spiderman, Spiderman, does whatever a spider can~!" Naruto sung as crawled up the tree Kakashi had told them to using chakra. "Can he swing from a web? Of course he can, he's Spiderman~!"

Much to his team's shock, the blond shot out several strands of ninja wire from a gauntlet on his forearm and began swinging around the forest they were situated in, right by Tazuna's house.

"Look out, here comes the Spiderman~!" Naruto shouted as he swung over his team's head.

Man, did he fucking love screwing with his teammate's heads.

**Rewind.**

* * *

**Play.**

Naruto hummed to himself as he continued to smash through Haku's ice mirrors without a care in the world, never mind that the boy was currently launching dozens of senbon at him and trying his best to make a kill shot, or at least hit some pressure points to make the blond's muscles freeze up.

But the Hyōton user didn't realise that Naruto had long since learnt to push chakra from his tenkyutsu points, making any attempts to hit him null and void.

"Ice, ice, baby," Naruto warbled as he proceeded to smash the last mirror and turn on Haku, who was beginning to look distinctly panicked. "Da, dun, dun, dun, du, dun."

**Rewind.**

* * *

**Play.**

Anko smashed through the window into the exam room for the first part of the Chūnin Exams, simultaneously doing a flip as she flung two kunai out to pin the banner she had spent all of last night making to the wall behind her. "Have no fear, the utterly awesome and sexy Mitarashi Anko is here!"

"Oh Kami!" One of the brats in the front row began to howl out, standing up in his seat and sending his chair clattering back. "The awesomeness, it burns!"

Much to the room's surprise, Naruto's eyes were a poisonous white and steaming slightly as he clawed at his face. "IT BURNS!"

The blond then fell with a clatter over the desk he had been previously sitting at, clutching his eyes as he twitched and shuddered.

"Naruto-kun!" the previously shy Hyūga who was sitting next to him cried out. "I'll save you!" She then leapt over her own desk to kneel by Naruto and give him mouth-to-mouth.

'Best idea ever…' Naruto thought dazedly as Hinata slammed her mouth into his and blew in an attempt to 'bring him back.'

**Rewind.**

* * *

**Play.**

A creepy laugh rung out through the clearing that Team Seven had been trapped in, making Sasuke and Sakura shudder at the sound. It was only the first day of the second part of the Chūnin Exams and already they were facing against an opponent who could kill them.

Naruto, on the other hand, didn't look too concerned about the suffocating presence and terrifying laugh surrounding him. He hummed to himself, absently looking around the tress nearby in interest.

Suddenly, a figure melted out from the trees, causing Sasuke and Sakura to whirl towards them with quiet yelps.

The female from Kusa grinned at them, licking her lips with her creepily long tongue. "Ku, ku, ku. What do we have here? Three little birdies, shivering in fear? Well, this snake—"

"HOLY SHIT!" Naruto suddenly bellowed out, pointing an accusing finger towards a rather taken aback Orochimaru. "IT'S MICHAEL JACKSON!"

The Snake Sannin scowled at him, hiding his confusion under anger. "What the hell are you talking abo—?"

"I'm a huge fan!" Naruto yelled out to him, flourishing a silver and sparkly glove that had somehow appeared on his hand at the S-class missing-nin. "Sing me a song!" the boy continued, doffing a hat low on his face, his hair suddenly longer and sleeker – much like Orochimaru's in fact.

"Wha—?" was all that Orochimaru managed as he watched the blond, now decked out in a suit and tie, glide backwards on the tree branch he was standing on, his feet moving in a particular motion.

Naruto didn't respond, merely spinning around on his heel and grabbing his crotch to do a hip thrust at Orochimaru. "He _he_!"

**Rewind.**

* * *

**Play.**

"Bitch kick~!" Naruto crooned as he slammed a vicious kick against Zabuza's face before he could trap Kakashi in the Water Prison jutsu. He then neatly back flipped away from the surprised shinobi, landing without a stumble on the lake's surface.

"Get away from here, Naruto!" Kakashi managed to gasp out after he got over the shock of his student coming out of nowhere and kicking his opponent in the face, let alone fucking _water-walking. _"He'll kill you! Take Tazuna and run!"

Flapping an unconcerned hand towards his sensei, Naruto cocked his hip to one side and lay an unimpressed look on Zabuza, who had recovered from the hard kick and was now glaring at the brat who had hit him.

"Don't worry, Kaka-sensei, this guy's just a little bitch with a big sword that _obviously _compensating for something." Naruto sent a suggestive eyebrow wiggle towards Zabuza, who turned a bright red in response. "You little punk!"

"Little sword~! little sword~! Zabuza has a little sword~!" Naruto sang as he danced around Zabuza, pointing and making faces at the missing-nin.

"SHUT UP!" Zabuza roared out, surprisingly nearly reduced to tears. "I don't have a little sword!"

Up in the tress nearby, Haku sighed in exasperation as he watched his Master be reduced to a tantrum-throwing, little baby at the blond boy's taunts.

He knew he should've sent Zabuza to the shrink after discovering that the man had issues due to years of taunting from his fellow ninja about his little sword.

**Rewind.**

* * *

**Play.**

Grinning wickedly to himself, Naruto sat in barely contained excitement in his seat, watching the doorway to the classroom expectantly.

After a few loops of watching, careful timing, a few experiments and several interesting instances of henge failures, Naruto was sure that this time his plan would work; he could hardly wait!

Ignoring Sasuke's annoyed grunt from next to him as he bounced in his seat, Naruto's grin only got bigger as he heard the trampling sound that signified that Ino and Sakura were approaching. Right on time, as usual.

"I'm going to win, Ino-pig!" Sakura howled out as she pushed against her rival, attempting to shove her out of the way so that she had a clear run to her classroom door.

"Not on your life, Billboard brow!" Ino screamed back, pushing right back before diving for the doorway alongside Sakura for first place.

Neither of them were expecting a blur to shove past them and enter the classroom before them.

When they collapsed to the ground after shoving their way through the doorway, both Ino and Sakura looked up at the familiar face grinning down at them.

"I win!" declared Naruto, "I beat you both, and now I get to sit next to Sasuke!" But it clearly wasn't Naruto when he was a few years older, had longer hair and, oh, had _boobs _and _hips_ that most girls would _kill _for.

The clearly female Naruto turned heel on Ino and Sakura and went diving across the room, her jumpsuit flapping as she commando rolled and popped up in front of a shocked Sasuke. She wasted not time, throwing the real Naruto to the side out of his seat and taking his place. Leaning up close against the still shell-chocked Sasuke, Naruto-female then shoved herself up against him, capturing his mouth with hers.

At first, Sasuke attempted to escape, but Naruto's tight grip around his shoulders and several seduction jutsu learnt from numerous loops with Anko meant that he was going nowhere, and was actually getting into the ferocious make-out session.

Almost every girl in the room let out a terrified shriek that hurt Kiba and Akamaru's ears before passing out simultaneously.

On the floor, Naruto was cackling to himself as he watched his oiroke-kage bunshin make-out with his 'rival.'

True, it was actually _him _kissing Sasuke, but after hundreds of loops and several benders with Anko as his sensei meant that the blond was pretty nonchalant about sex and his own partners.

"Ahhh," the blond sighed, wiping tears from his eyes, "I have to do this again on a bigger scale. I wonder if I could convince Anko to pretend to be my girlfriend and make-out with me at the exams…"

**Rewind.**

* * *

**Play.**

As Kankurō dropped the brat that had been revealed to be the Hokage's grandson (according to the blond genin in front of him), Gaara appeared in a swirl of sand, scaring the crap out of the puppet-user.

"G-Gaara," Kankurō stuttered out, recoiling from the younger boy that was glaring at him. "I was just joking! I was playing around, I swear—!"

"Shut up," Gaara said coldly, cutting the boy's stammers off, "before I kill you." The redhead turned from his weak siblings, expecting to see the blond boy and the pink-haired girl to be standing there, but was distinctly surprised to see the blond barrelling towards him, arms out wide.

"BROTHER!" Naruto yelled out joyously, throwing himself at the shocked Gaara.

Of course, the Ichibi jinchūriki's sand came up to ward off the 'attack,' but that didn't deter Naruto as he quickly settled for hugging the sand that was currently holding him up in the air. "Ah, my brother!"

"B-brother?" Temari managed to choke out, staring at the Konoha genin in shock. "What the hell? You're not our brother!"

"I'm Gaara's brother!" Naruto replied happily, beginning to attempt to scramble down the sand to hug Gaara. "Jinchūriki brothers! C'mon, give me a hug, bro!"

The redhead stared hesitantly up at the boy still attempting to get to him. "H-hug?"

"Yep!" Naruto agreed easily. "We jinchūriki need our hugs, and as your brother, I'm obliged to give you one as soon as I see you!"

Temari and Kankurō proceeded to watch in shock as Gaara slowly let the boy down to hug him. It would've been an adorable sight to see the redhead carefully hug the blond like he would break, and for Naruto to clutch Gaara in a big bear hug, but Temari and Kankurō were both waiting for the part when Gaara snapped and murdered the kid in a spray of blood.

But after a few moments, the two siblings began to warily let their guards down and creep closer to the two hugging 'brothers.' As they got closer, they finally heard the hushed conversation that the two were having.

"So you're like me?" Gaara asked Naruto hesitantly, never lessening his grip on the blond.

"Uh-huh," the blond replied, not minding the Suna-nin's tight grip on his jumpsuit, "I've got a fuzzball in my gut, while you have a sandy one. They're both a bit grumpy, but I've managed to make some peace with mine; he still wants to crush some of the people around me, and he doesn't like me much, but he'll help me out if I help him. So we're all good."

Gaara frowned slightly, his brow creasing. "But Mother says that—"

"Shukaku ain't your mum," Naruto said snappily, "he's trying to convince you that he is, but he's just an insane asshole who gets off on manipulating people and driving them mad."

Gaara flinched at that, his hands going up to his head as Shukaku pushed chakra to his head to cause an intense pounding sensation. "Mo—Shukaku doesn't like you."

"Well I don't like him," Naruto returned easily, unhooking one arm from Gaara to start leading him towards Temari and Kankurō who were standing nearby with their jaws hanging around their knees.

"Tell you what, Gaara," the blond continued, "I'll play some games with you; I'm sure that'll distract you from Shukaku's asshole-ish behaviour."

"Games?" the Suna-nin asked hopefully, looking rather excited by that suggest. "Do you mean playing ball and on the swings?"

Naruto nodded with a grin as they breezed past the two siblings staring at them in shock. "Whatever you want, brother!"

Temari and Kankurō could only stare after the retreating pair, unsure of what this new development meant for them and the invasion that was going to come shortly.

* * *

"Gaara!" Baki yelled out to the boy standing nearby who had knocked the Uchiha unconscious in his match before the feathers had fallen and the wide-spread genjutsu had activated. "Begin the plan! We have to—"

Without looking, Gaara made a fist of sand and slammed it on the annoying man, crushing him like a bug. There was no way that he was going to go against his brother and his village. Screw the invasion and the plan, Naruto had promised to play on the see-saw after this.

* * *

"Holy shit," Naruto said as he stood on an apartment rooftop and watched Gaara absolutely destroy any Suna or Oto-nin that he came into contact with. "I think this was one of the best ideas I've ever had; I've got to use this when I get out of the loop!"

**Rewind.**

* * *

**Play.**

Skipping around the ANBU that he had managed to shackle around one of the larger trees in Konoha, Naruto tapped their heads one after another, keeping up the innocent kid attitude to annoy them.

"Duck, duck, goose!"

Upon tapping an ANBU with a mask shaped like a tiger, Naruto drew a pellet from his Ninja pouch and tossed it at the shinobi, clapping excitedly when it exploded. The ANBU wasn't so impressed when green slime dripped down his mask before steadily staining his uniform a toxic colour that really shouldn't have shown up on black. Just what the hell was in these pellets?

"This is so demeaning..." Yugao sighed behind her mask as the blond-haired genin skipped around the tree once more, tapping each head lightly as he went.

"Oh, shut up," one of her comrades snapped from nearby, "at least you don't have fucking shit from the Inuzuka compound in your gear!"

* * *

**Okay, so I didn't do too many loops in here, but this was just a test. I'll focus mainly from the beginning of Naruto to the Chunin Exams for a while, then I'll branch out to every part, including Shippuden. I can't wait to troll Tobito! But it's surprisingly a lot harder to write a loop story than I thought. There's literally no aim to it, so it's hard to come up with little plot points that are funny and witty.**

**If you guys have any ideas, please PM me, 'cause I'd be happy to create whatever wacky idea you have. Nothing's off-limits, either. I'm prepared to do anything.**

**I'm also going to bring in other characters into the loop after next chapter, so you can incorporate as many people as you want into your plans. Sasuke and Sakura will join Naruto next, and they're going to be in the loop together forever now, and they'll be the main people I'll concentrate on.**

**However, I was curious if you guys want me to do FUBAR loops as well? You know, fused loops in which several universes get crossed-over. I know **_**Innortal **_**did it really well, and I'd be more than happy to do so, it'll just be hard since I'm not part of many fandoms.**

**Anyway, I'll set up some polls on my profile, so have a peek there or just PM me or whatever. I'm all cool for anything.**

**Ciao.**

**P.S. **_**Mimic **_**is underway, so everyone can chillax about the next chapter for that story.**


	2. Chapter 2

'**Sup guys? Sorry for the wait, but here's the newest chapter of this wonderfully crazy story. **

**Just a quick thing about pairings, as a few people have asked me about who Naruto's going to end up with: **_**he is stuck in a time loop**_**. There is LITERALLY no way he can have a stable relationship – so far, at least. For now, it will just be flings with all the usual girls Naruto is paired with, and maybe even some guys as he's currently bi-sexual as hell. Yes, he does have some deep feelings for these girls as he's learnt a lot about them during his time in the loops, but at the same time he's unable to have a relationship. In the end, I might not do Naruto with any of the girls; I'm thinking a threesome of Team Seven, as they will be the closest in the entire series to Naruto.**

**Eh, I guess we'll see. But for now, enjoy!**

* * *

**(Forgot to do this last time)**

**Disclaimer: **_Don't own~!_

**Warning: **_Lots of blood and gore! Language, meltdowns and some sexual exploits. Actually, so many sexual moments and language your head will explode! (Not really, but please small kiddies, take caution)._

* * *

**Play.**

"Hokage-sama! Hokage-sama!" a random chūnin who isn't important enough to get a name in this story squealed as he ran into the office of one Sarutobi Hiruzen, his eyes wide with shock and fear.

The wizened shinobi sighed between the unlit pipe in his lips as he continued to do paperwork. "What has Naruto done this time?"

"He—he—!" spluttered out the man. He struggled to get out the words tumbling around his mouth, but gave up once he realised that there was no way to explain the current situation at hand. Instead he rushed over to sling open the curtains that Hiruzen had chosen to cover up the windows that looked out over the village that day.

When Hiruzen didn't look up straight away, the chūnin made a strangled, high-pitched sound that instantly alerted Hiruzen to something was wrong – no ninja made such an embarrassing sound willingly.

Almost instantly he choked on his pipe, eyes bulging out almost comically at the sight he was met with behind the curtains.

Matabi, the two-tailed hellcat smiled wickedly at him, the thin sheet of glass the only thing separating its hungry mouth from Hiruzen. It yawned widely, showing off gleaming white fangs in its flickering maw to intimidate the insignificant shinobi right by the window into peeing his pants.

There was a deep rumble from past the Nibi, and Hiruzen rushed up from behind his desk to peer past the hellcat. He kind of wished the Nibi had moved further to the left to block the sight he had seen.

A large, red-furred monkey was sitting on its haunches near the outskirts of the village, its four tails sweeping idly behind it, causing small whirlwinds to sweep through the streets to knock over panicking civilians who were trying to run away. A large building was held in its hand, being overturned gently so that what could only be known as the Yonbi, Son Goku could inspect every corner of the structure.

From the base where the building had obviously once stood humans poured out, white masks covering their faces as they scattered away from the scaly tails that were being cautiously poked at them by the Sanbi, Isōbu.

One of the turtle's tails detached from its playful poking to swipe at the large fluttering form of the Nanabi, Chōmei as it dived it from above.

The insect-like Bijū seemed to snicker as it darted away from the appendage, but quickly stopped when a large glob of…something was shot at it by Saiken, the Rokubi.

Beside him, squatting on what used to be the Hyūga main branch house, Kokō the Gobi flicked the slug with one of its tails, clearly chiding the more powerful demon. The careful tap on the head quickly turned into a fight between the two Bijū that had them tearing up the surrounding area and dragging an all too willing Shukaku into the mix.

But what crowned the motley of masses of chakra with a consciousness's reign of chaos was the game of catch going on between Gyūki the Hachibi and what could only be the newly released Kyūbi. Ironically, the 'ball' was the head of Madara that had been snatched up from the Valley of the End, but it was quickly being crumbled by the force of the demons throws.

And darting through the streets, across the building that weren't demolished by the rampaging demons and even leaping onto the monstrous forms of chakra was hundreds of Narutos. Each one wore a cheeky grin across its whiskered face and was howling with laughter; several were being dropped from Chōmei's legs from where the Nanabi was flying up in the clouds, letting out great peals of laughter before being dashed against the ground to disappear in puffs of smoke. Others were playing what seemed to be poker on Kurama's back, clearly at ease in the forest of lustrous red fur.

"Oh my…" Hiruzen managed to choke out as he watched Shukaku catapult a few dozen of the kage bunshin from his paws to go splattering against the outside walls.

Just then, the Nibi who had hung about the window, watching the Hokage's changing emotions with much amusement leant down so that its head was just beneath the window.

The Naruto on its head took that moment to dismount, leaping off the cats head with a thank you as he landed on the roof sloping away from the window. He offered a wave to the hellcat who yowled in response before ambling off to relieve itself liberally on the Uchiha Estate where a certain duck-assed asshole was cowering in fear.

Internally laughing at Matabi's choice in activity, Naruto easily slid open the window and leapt into the Hokage office, his trademark grin firmly placed on his lips as he placed his hands on his hips. "Hey Oji-san! Like what I've done with the place?"

Sarutobi Hiruzen, the Professor and most wizened and experienced of the Kage, let out a choked sound before fainting dead away.

**Rewind.**

* * *

**Play.**

With a bored expression on his face, Kakashi dispelled yet another one of Naruto's kage bunshins after a rather foolish and sloppy attack. "Really, if you insist on creating so many of these things you should make sure that they are actually useful."

Another Naruto threw himself at the Copy-nin in response, and the jōnin let out an irritated sigh as he stabbed it lazily with a kunai. "You don't listen much, do you?"

"I listened when you told me that shinobi should never let someone get behind them."

Kakashi's lone eye widened and he attempted to spin around to face Naruto, who had _somehow_ managed to sneak up on him. Unfortunately his body didn't respond, and so he couldn't so anything as Naruto laughed evilly and brought his hands together to stab forwards. "Thousand years of pain, assfucker!"

A yelp worked its way up Kakashi's throat as he was launched away by the force of the attack, and the man was helpless to do anything but tumble head-over-heels through the mockingly bright blue sky.

Back on the ground Naruto put a hand up to shade his eyes – letting the seal he had created to hold Kakashi immobile disappear as he did so – letting out a low whistle as he watched Kakashi disappear into a twinkle in the sky. "Damn, that's gotta be a new record. Using wind chakra _really does _make the difference; awesome."

* * *

When Kakashi finally shushined back into the clearing upon which he had been launched from, a distinct limp in his step, he was more than slightly pissed.

Of course, when he spotted a certain blond genin squatting in the dirt in front of a makeshift spit that was resting over the fire, his precious Icha Icha Paradise skewered on the stick and rotating gently over the fire…Well, pissed was not a word that could be applied to the level of fury and hate working its way through Kakashi's veins.

Sasuke and Sakura, still hidden in their respective spots that they had claimed at the start of the test, just in case that Kakashi hadn't really been beaten by _Naruto_ of all people and wasn't just waiting to kick their asses when they relaxed, could only watch in shock (and envy in Sasuke's case) as lightning exploded into being around their prospective sensei's hand.

The silver-haired man didn't waste a second, darting forwards to stab at Naruto in the time it took the boy to actually look up from his cruel treatment of Kakashi's precious book. When his hand went through the blond's chest Kakashi instantly felt a wave of guilt flood through him; he had killed his sensei's son!

But, of course, that guilt quickly turned to irritation and hatred as Naruto burst into a puff of smoke, along with the spit and Icha Icha Paradise.

Then, to top things off, dozens of Naruto's burst into existence in the clearing, each one doing some cruel and inhumane to Kakashi's book – one was taking great joy in tearing off individual page and using it to wipe his ass, before crumpling it up and tossing it at the shell-shocked Kakashi.

So it was with great shock that Sasuke and Sakura watched their sensei demolish each and every kage bunshin that Naruto threw out, destroying much of the surrounding forest in the process – meaning that Sasuke and Sakura had to back up pretty quick when fire threatened to engulf them and lightning exploded the trees they were hiding in.

* * *

All the while, the original Naruto sat back with the true Icha Icha book, laughing and giggling to himself as he simultaneously read the smut and laughed at Kakashi's furious screams and the explosions that followed after. "This was a brilliant idea! I should listen to Shika for revenge plans more! He defeated that Hidan dude so quickly in revenge; Sasuke could learn a thing or two from him!"

The blond continued to cackle as his sensei tore up the training ground searching for him, having long since learnt how to erase his scent and hide his chakra. Having to run from the ANBU and what was now totalled up to every single person in the village was a brilliant motivator for such things.

**Rewind.**

* * *

**Play.**

"Art's an explosion!" yelled out Deidara as he caused the ground around Naruto to erupt and crumble around him.

That did nothing to deter the blond as he gave a wicked grin before putting the finger up at the Akatsuki member. "Your mum was an explosion last night, asshole!"

**Rewind.**

* * *

**Play.**

"Art's an explosion!" yelled out Deidara as he caused the ground around Naruto to erupt and crumble around him.

"That's not an explosion!" Naruto said pompously. "_This_ is an _explosion_!"

All around the clearing they had engaged combat in, Naruto clones set off the several tonnes of explosive notes they had set up, causing almost a hundred square metres to go up in flames.

Including two pyromaniac blonds.

**Rewind.**

* * *

**Play.**

"Art's an explosion!" yelled out Deidara as he caused the ground around Naruto to erupt and crumble around him.

The genin barely noticed the life-threatening explosions around him as he sent a flirtatious wink up to the Akatsuki member currently overhead on one of his clay birds. "I can give you an explosion, if you want."

* * *

Four hours later Naruto found himself smugly staring up at a motel's ceiling, hands behind his head and Deidara's head on his muscular chest. The sleeping man's long, blond hair was currently wrapped around Naruto's finger as he grinned to himself. "That's a new way to neutralise the entire situation. Maybe I could try this again…"

* * *

"Oh, Naruto, not again," Sakura sighed to herself as she took in the sight that beheld her poor, tainted eyes. "I swear to sweet Kami, this better be the last one."

Completely unabashed at being spotted only wearing bed sheets wrapped around his waist and one absolutely naked Kisame and Hidan in his apartment, bickering over what to eat for breakfast, Naruto gave Sakura a mockingly sheepish grin. "I'll try my best, Sakura-chan!"

* * *

"This isn't trying, Naruto, damn it!" Sakura yelled at the blond shoving random shinobi aside as she marched through the battlefield that had just moments ago held the Aligned Shinobi Force and Madara's own army.

Naruto shrugged, barely bothering to look embarrassed as he petted Madara's Edo-tensei'd head where it was lovingly placed in his lap. Nor when he propped his feet up on Obito's almost prone body, the man having been downed minutes into the fight with the blond by several erotic techniques. "Hey, I fixed things, didn't I?"

"SEDUCING THE ENTIRE AKATSUKI INTO SUBMISSION AND A HAREM IS NOT _'FIXING THINGS'_!"

**Rewind.**

* * *

**Play.**

"So…" Naruto drawled slowly as he peered curiously at Kakuzu, having been separated from the rest of the 'Revenge Squad' that had set out to kill the men who had murdered Asuma. "You'd do anything for money?"

Kakuzu narrowed his eyes at the genin, the thread-monsters attached to him pausing in their advancement. "For a certain amount, yes. But a mere brat like you could never offer the amount of money necessary to pull me away from the Akatsuki."

Naruto batted his blue eyes in reply, a smug smirk working its way across his mouth as he posed innocently. "What if I told you I was the Daimiyo of Wave Country and currently had dozens of heads of men and women from the Bingo book; including Sasori and Deidara, your ex-teammates."

Interest sparked in Kakuzu's mismatched eyes as he studied Naruto closely. "You're not lying. You really do have control over a prospering country."

"Yep!" Naruto replied cheerfully. "But, of course, it could be _you _who has complete control over a prospering country; free to do whatever you wished with its resources and to make however much money as you can."

"What's the catch?" Kakuzu demanded.

Buffering his nails against his jumpsuit, Naruto glanced at Kakuzu slyly from beneath his lashes. "You remove yourself from Akatsuki and ally yourself with Konoha."

The Akatsuki member thought over it for a moment before levelling his disconcerting gaze at Naruto. "Fifteen bounties in advance as well as the deed and contracts to Wave country."

"Twelve bounties and half the contract," Naruto shot back in response.

"Twenty, half the contract and half of your profits right now."

"Done."

The two shinobi shook on it, a massive grin covering Naruto's face as he joyfully bounced Kakuzu's arm up and down. "Dude, this will be so awesome."

* * *

When Naruto marched to war with the Shinobi Alliance against Madara this time around it was with the backing of the Wave country. Around a hundred shinobi had been added to their forces, all of them ex-missing-nins who had taken refuge in the island country and sworn themselves to the daimiyo, Kakuzu.

"I knew that our partnership was a great idea," Naruto said to the mentioned daimiyo as they readied their forces. "I mean, I get your military help as well as your intelligence, and you get as much riches as you can make and a whole army at your fingertips. You don't doubt your decision anymore, do you?"

Holding his urge to roll his eyes at the blond, having long since gotten used to his attitude, Kakuzu grunted in response. His arms were crossed as he watched the last preparations of war being made, some of his own shinobi darting by, but not after a quick salute to him.

Naruto grinned at every shinobi and kunoichi that went by, most of them knowing the famous hero with the Kybūi inside him, but reserved fist bumps to only a select few. Zabuza, Haku and Kisame were just three of the lucky few, all of them nodding respectfully to their daimiyo after greeting Naruto before hurrying onwards to continue whatever task they were doing.

"They grow up so fast…" Naruto sighed as he watched a nearly adult Haku go bounding over to where Suigetsu was standing and chatting with Utakata, the three friends all exchanging cheerful and harmless jibes.

"Tch," Kakuzu scoffed, "you are still young, brat; you can't use those words until they mean something."

The ex-Akatsuki member didn't catch how Naruto's smile turned sad and misty, lost in thought. "Yeah…Whatever you say, Kaku-kun."

"I told you not to call me that, you little tart!"

"You know you love me!"

"If we weren't at war I would chop your arm off again and beat you with it."

"Hey, you re-attached it last time, I'm sure you'll do it again, so I'm not worried."

"I'll attached it to the back of your head, kid, don't push me."

"Shit, you're serious. Okay, okay. Sorry."

"That's right, gaki. Now, let's hurry up finish this damn war; fucking thing is so expensive."

**Rewind.**

* * *

**Play.**

"I'm sure it'll work this time," a seventeen year old Naruto murmured to himself as he hefted a very familiar three-pronged kunai in hand. "I mean, I've had three repeats to figure this out; what's the worst that could happen?"

The blond-looper tossed his father's old kunai at a nearby tree, already flashing through handseals as it left his hand.

When the special kunai hit the tree with a thunk, Naruto disappeared in an orange flash, travelling at ridiculous speeds through time and pace to arrive…

In the middle of the all-female onsen in Konoha, holding not only his current girlfriend Hinata, but also Tenten, Sakura, Kurenai, Anko, Tsunade, Yugaō, Ino, and for some strange reason, Temari, who was on a diplomatic mission to Konoha for her Kazekage, Gaara.

Naruto managed to get out a surprised yelp before he crashed into the warm, steamy water, his father's old cloak dragging him down into the depths of the water with its weight.

It took him a few moments to swim to the surface, having to fight against his heavy clothing the whole way, but eventually he burst out of the water with a gasp, drawing air into his mouth greedily.

Of course, when he realised where he was and _who _was nearby, Naruto wished that his clothes had drowned him, so he would be able to start a new repeat. A life recognised as Minato's son be damned, he didn't want to get beaten to death!

* * *

Unsurprisingly, Naruto woke up the next day in his old bed back at his tiny apartment, on the day of his team selections, having been killed in the slowest most painful way yet; death by angry kunoichi fists.

Ugh, maybe this time around he could get on a team of just boys. Him, Chōji and Shikamaru; that sounded perfect.

He could see it now; Shikamaru could come up with the plan, Naruto could do all of the genius traps and ninjutsu while Chōji beat the shit out of anyone who survived. It would be awesome.

**Rewind.**

* * *

**Play.**

"And the final team is; Uzumaki Naruto, Yamanaka Ino and Hyūga Hinata."

"What?" Kiba howled out in response to Iruka's final announcement. "I'm stuck on a team with Bug boy and Uptight Uchiha, while Naruto gets two girls on his team? That dobe gets two babes? What the fuck is this injustice?"

"I'm surprised you know what injustice means," Naruto shot back smarmily from where he was leaning back on his chair at the back of the room beside Shikamaru. "Mutt."

Kiba let out a howl of anger and attempted to spin around to lunge at the blond. It was only Shino's bugs that held him down and Sasuke's thinly veiled insult from nearby that stopped him and directed his anger at the Uchiha. "What was that, asshole Uchiha?"

While Sakura was alright with her team of Shikamaru and Chōji – she had never had a problem with those two – but was slightly sad about not being on Sasuke's team, Ino was repeatedly slamming her head into the desk, muttering about 'stupid blonds.'

"Ino," a sing-song voice rang out, making said girl turn to glare at Naruto who was smiling cheekily at her. "You're a blonde as well, sweetheart."

"Don't talk to me like that!" Ino barked out, blue eyes sparking dangerously. "I swear to Kami, Naruto, if you push me I'll tear up that precious jumpsuit of yours."

"Oooh~!" Naruto crooned, leaning forwards on his desk to prop his chin up with his hands. "Only been on a team for a few minutes and you're already wanting to tear my clothes off; feisty. I like that."

A blush bloomed across Ino's face and she stammered in reply, unsure of how to deal with this radical change in the class dobe since the final exams. He was…confident, and somewhat – dare she say it – _suave._

"Asshole," she managed to splutter out finally, shoving her chair back to send it clattering against Naruto's desk behind her. "I'm going to go and sit with Hinata; at least she's polite.

Naruto shrugged in a _What can you do? _way. "Go ahead."

Not bothering to give him an answer, Ino stormed off to go and sit on the other side of the classroom beside Hinata. Of course Hinata was still out cold after hearing the news that she was on her crush's team, so she wasn't much of a conversation, but Ino didn't care; she just wanted to be away from that insufferable idiot who could make her blush so easily. How dare he!

"Settle down you lot," Iruka said irritably as he tucked his clipboard of teams under his arm. "Your sensei will be here soon and you don't want to make a bad impression of them, hm? You are all shinobi here, and therefore responsible adults who—"

A shattering of glass interrupted the teacher and the children screamed as the windows leading to the grounds outside blew inwards.

A dark form came tumbling through the new entryway, flipping rapidly through the air before landing on the desk of a very scared kid with a thump of shinobi sandals. Brown eyes twinkled madly as they surveyed the scared humans splayed out before them, and a mad chuckle escaped twisted lips right before the newcomer flung their arms into the air fabulously. "Mitarashi Anko is here, bitches, and I'm coming for Team Seven's scrawny asses!"

There was dead silence as the collected children stared in no small amount of fear at the sexy, scandalously clad mad woman. For a moment, at least.

"AWESOME!" cheered Naruto as he leapt up and pumped his fists in the air. "My sensei's fucking the best kunoichi ever!"

"Heck yeah!" Anko grinned down at the little brat with his ridiculous get-up and his well-known sexy transformation that would make him a pinnacle in her seduction squad. "I'm also a pretty damn good kunoichi as well."

Rather than getting a blank face in reply, Anko was mildly shocked (and ridiculously pleased) to see Naruto snorting with laughter, having gotten her play on words.

"Oh," the purple-haired woman purred as she fingered a kunai hidden up one of her long sleeves, "I think I'll have fun with you."

She got a sly wink in reply, making her perverted, sadistic heart flutter excitedly in reply. Oh, what an adorable little fucker.

* * *

"Introduce yourself, brats, 'cause I want to know if your names are worth remembering." Anko said this as she dangled lazily in the fork of a tree in a training ground she had just lead her team to – after making them chase her around the entire length of the village – a dango stick wedged firmly in her teeth.

When no one offered to go first – Naruto too busy sending flirtatious winks at a fuming Ino as Hinata watched on with mixed emotions – Anko released a suffering sigh before tossing her skewer at her newly bought brats.

It landed in the dirt right by Naruto's crotch, but the blond barely seemed to notice it. The only indication he gave Anko was another foxy smirk that he seemed to dole out at almost every situation. Whether it was amusing to her or not.

"If you don't stop thinking with your downstairs brain and start using your upstairs," Anko said sweetly to her only male student, "you're going to lose both. Start talking or I'll start from the bottom and work my way up."

To the sound of Ino laughing and Hinata's mortified squeaks, Naruto began his introduction; all roguish smiles and wiggling eyebrows that let Anko know that this kid had talent for seduction – especially at his teammates reactions.

"My name's Uzumaki Naruto – not that you don't already know that." The boy said it with a suggestive smirk towards Ino and Hinata – making Hinata blush a vivid red and Ino scowl – and raised brows at Anko, letting her know that he'd seen her snooping around him in the past day. Clever boy.

"My likes are varied, and not to be spoken in such civilised company. My dislikes? Well, I could say numerous, frivolous things that leave you with not a single glimpse into my personality, but I'd like to say that I hate to be disappointed and leave it at that. As for hobbies…oooh, probably shouldn't say those either. But my dream is something I can definitely say; sneak, steal and be as sly as much as I fucking can."

"Is having copious amounts of sex included in that dream of yours?" Anko asked innocently.

"More like sucking," Ino muttered irritably, crossing her arms across her chest in a huff.

Putting his hand out in front of him, Naruto began to flick through imaginary pages, pretending that he was looking through some sort of notepad. He let out a sharp exclamation and jabbed at his palm. "It says here; a hell yes to both of these!"

Anko choked back laughter as Ino frowned at Naruto, the older woman not missing the implication of the Naruto's agreement to Ino's statement; seems like one of her kids swung both ways.

"Next," Anko managed to say without laughing, jabbing a finger at the shy Hyūga she had been saddled with. "You, cutie-patootie."

Blushing at the onslaught of attention she suddenly got from her team, Hinata began to stumble her way through her introduction, following the template laid out by her crush. "Um, m-my name is Hyūga Hinata. I like flowers and, um, cinnamon buns. I d-dislike prejudice and h-hatred; I just w-want people to get a-along. My hobby is, um, f-flower pressing. My dream is to mend the r-relationship within my c-clan and to become and b-better person."

"Aww," Ino sighed after Hinata finished speaking, wrapping an arm around the timid girl to give her a hug. "You're so sweet and innocent." She sent an ugly look at Naruto, who battered his eyes innocently back. "_Unlike some people._"

"I sense some hatred being traded around here like STD's between whores," said Anko. "Better wrap this up so I can give you guys some shots." She grinned wickedly at her pun, none of the brats getting it as they didn't realise that she had fuckloads of snakes up her sleeves ready to bite the crap out of them.

Well, Naruto knew from experience, but, hey, there was no way he was going to say anything about the fact that he was stuck in an endless repeat of his lifetime after the genin exams. 'Cause that's ridiculous, right?

"Last but maybe least," Anko said as she gestured towards Ino, who scowled in response before tossing her hair back over her shoulder.

"I'm Yamanaka Ino, not 'blondie,' or 'sweetheart,' or any other stupid name. I like flowers, just like Hinata, and learning my family techniques."

"As well as stalking a certain someone," Naruto said in a sing-song voice.

"I dislike a _certain blond idiot_, as well as those who look down on me since I'm a beautiful female."

'_Vain as fuck,' _Anko thought to herself, 'not necessarily bad though.'

Ino pursed her lips as Naruto made an odd expression at her before tossing her hair again and continuing. "My hobby is helping out at my family shop and buying new clothes. My dream is to become clan head and be a distinguished kunoichi."

"Well, that's fucking peachy," Anko said after a moments of silence. "You're all adorably unique individuals and I'm going to _love _tearing you to pieces and finding out why. However, I need to test you guys to see if you're even worth taking a look at."

"What do you mean?" Ino demanded before Hinata could start wording the question in a more polite way. "Why do you need to test us? How?"

"I need to see if you guys can actually become genin of Konoha," Anko replied easily. "As for how…Well, you need to stay up and moving for at least two hours; there's no boundaries, no jutsu off limit, and no _rules._" The woman's eyes took on a wicked look as she slowly and sensually slid from her perch. The sleeves of her coat flopped open, an ominous hissing coming from its depths.

At the sound, Naruto turned and ran, barely sparing enough time to grab Ino's and Hinata's hands as he went, ignoring Ino's screeches of protest the entire way into the nearby trees.

* * *

"Holy shit!" Anko exclaimed as she drop-kicked the doors into the Hokage's office open, startling a few prospective jōnin senseis inside. "My brats are better than all your fucking losers! All your little, rat-bastards will be my gakis underlings!"

"I'm guessing Team Seven has passed," Sarutobi said dryly as he disengaged from the conversation with his son. "Shall I write that down?"

Standing with her hands on her hips in front of her leader, Anko smiled proudly down at his seated form behind his desk. "You will write down that 'Mitarashi Anko's team will blaze glorious trails of destruction and chaos throughout the Elemental Nations, that's how cool they are.'"

"Duly noted," Sarutobi replied, just as wryly as before as he reached forwards and stamped an approval on Team Seven's paperwork. "Do I need to ask how the test went?"

"Not really," Anko said easily, even though there was many jōnin present as well as her leader, "but I'm still gonna tell you anyways. Seriously. The. Best. Team. EVER! That little spunky blonde girl you put on my team is a fucking sneaky little bitch! She came up with so many wicked traps I nearly cried from happiness – and lost a thumb while I was at it. She dragged my little Hyūga princess into a major taijutsu trap to kick my snakes asses, and it bloody worked! Then Uzumaki came swinging in. Ohhhh, what a brilliant addition he was. Sexy, sneaky and sly as hell, he pulled some harem technique on me and managed to drag the girls into doing it as well! Hell if I know how they managed to learn it so quickly, but it was effective."

Sarutobi absently handed her a tissue box as he finished signing off her team's registration, the woman taking it gratefully to wipe the globs of blood that were sneaking out of her nostrils.

Once Anko discarded the soaked tissues, she slammed her hands on Sarutobi's desk, ignoring the shocked gasps from the other occupants of the room. "You gotta let me mould them into a seduction squad right away! They were born for it, old man! You gotta trust me on this! Both Ino and Naruto have got massive skills for it, and I know I can change Hinata to a perfect little, innocent sex-puppet."

"Anko!" Kurenai inputted, sounding scandalised. "I've known Hinata from a young age and I hardly think that—"

"I'm her sensei now," Anko said, voice suddenly hard, "and so I don't need any other teacher's inputting their opinions; especially when they don't have a team of their own." The woman's face softened slightly at Kurenai's downed expression, and sighed lightly. "Sorry, Nai-chan, it's just that these kids are my responsibility, and I know what's best for them. You can trust me with their lives."

When Kurenai nodded back, Anko gave her a small smile. That smile then turned terrifying as she glared around at the surrounding shinobi, many cowering back from her burning gaze. "If any of you fuckers repeat what I've said here, you'll find yourself ending up exactly like Kuna. Get it?"

With one last sweep of her gaze, Anko bounced out of a window, her middle finger raised back towards the room. "Anko out, bitches."

In the silence of the room that followed, a hesitant jōnin turned to his comrade beside him. "How did Kuna end up exactly?"

"That's the thing," the other man said in reply, his eyes haunted. "He didn't end up anywhere."

* * *

Hinata loved and mildly disliked her team and training.

On one hand, she was with her crush – cue sigh, blush and faint – and a girl with enough confidence to lend it to her. Both helped and encouraged her in their own ways, and Hinata was _so _grateful for it; she didn't know what she would do without them.

Yes, Naruto did have his moments where he would come to training as a girl and act exactly like one for long periods of time – according to her byakugan, she _was _a female during those times – and flirted with every person that went by – including one extremely traumatised cousin Neji – but Hinata could easily see past these odd quirks to the kind person he was at heart. He may bicker with Ino a lot, but anyone could see that he never meant his words – either than the words of flirtation – and Hinata was happy that her teammates could get along.

The same was for Ino. Even though she came across as bossy, loud and vain, Ino was more compassionate and understanding than most people Hinata had ever met. Whenever Hinata fell – whether it was from exhaustion or from self-doubts – Ino was instantly by her side, yelling words of encouragement and confidence. She was a beautiful girl and she knew it, but she was a beautiful girl who had more than enough time for Hinata.

As for her sensei…Well, at the beginning Hinata hadn't been so sure about her sensei. She was clearly unstable, had a fetish for blood and snakes, and had a weird obsession with smothering Ino, Naruto and Hinata included into her rather large breasts – not that Naruto seemed to mind. But even though Anko occasionally scared Hinata half to death, she was the one who believed in Hinata enough to accept her as part of her squad and to train her up. Hinata felt surer in her abilities, thanks to the adjustments and additions she had made to her Jyūken stance. Anko was a Kami-send, and Hinata would hold her dear, just like she would with her teammates.

* * *

"Okay. Gakis, listen up." Anko stared down at her little genin who were currently all doing the splits in front of her, holding weights over their heads to strengthen their core. And gasping and sweating as they did so. "I know how you've heard about some of the other genin your age are entering the Chūnin Exams – shut up Ino!"

The blonde mentioned shut her mouth with a click, swallowing the words about the unfairness of Billboard brow getting to go in the exams and not her.

"Anyways," Anko continued smoothly, "I'm here to official announce that we're not entering! Hurrah!"

At her brats clearly unamused looks – damn were they rubbing badly on her Hyūga Hime – Anko gave them a quick grin before continuing, gesturing to drop their weights but not their splits to listen. "Instead, from here on out we begin our training in becoming a seduction squad!"

At that proclamation, both Naruto and Ino broke out into cheers of excitement as Hinata ducked her head unsurely.

"I know you may be doubting my decision," Anko said casually, "but I know that you'll all be perfect little sexy bitches; trust me."

At her words, Hinata picked her head back up slightly, a small smile curling her shiny lips. And that just warmed Anko's little shrivelled heart. But don't you fucking dare to tell anyone! Or you'll end up just like Kuna, hm!

"Here's how it's going to go down," Anko continued, rubbing her hands in excitement. "You," she pointed sharply at Naruto, who perked up with shining blue eyes. "You're going to be our hands-on, dirty bitch. You're going to seduce whoever the hell you think is necessary for our mission; be it in the form of a male or female."

Naruto took on the form of his female counterpart and saluted with dainty hands.

"You'll also be our front-liner when it comes to combat situations," Anko offered at the end before moving onto Ino.

"You're going to be our whispering wicked witch. You'll be getting all the intel of the group by flashin' those sexy legs of yours, using poison from your knowledge of plants and whispering words in people's ears. And I _mean _people; you're all going to have to learn to swing both ways, or ignore the fact that you don't swing towards sexy girls like me."

"Not a problem," Ino said without thinking before flushing alongside Hinata, who had mumbled something of assent as well.

"Brilliant!" Anko said happily. "Now we're all swinging pendulums ticking down the time it takes before we snag ourselves a juicy piece of meat, or fine kitty cats. Or, you know, you could be making yourselves some sandwiches if you have enough ingredients."

The flames of mortifications burned brighter in Hinata's and Ino's cheeks at the implication of three-ways or maybe even more, only fuelling Naruto's laughter beside them.

"As for you," Anko said to Hinata when they'd all calmed down, "you're going to be my simpering school girl; innocent and trustable. You're going to pretend to be naïve as you dig up people's secrets. 'Accidently' flash some cleavage here and there. Be a 'klutz' and trip over to reveal some naughty lingerie under your cute little dress. Maybe even get yourself snagged on a nail and get your shirt torn off. Either way, you're going to be our little angel who's really a mastermind and stealing everyone's secrets."

Hinata was slightly hesitant about her role in general, but she couldn't let her team down! "Right, sensei!"

Anko grinned at her. "That's my girl."

* * *

As Sasuke dashed through the outskirts of Konoha's forest, heading straight for the Valley of the End, the last thing he expected to see was three young girls his age lounging around by the waterfall in the valley.

There was a dark-haired girl he vaguely remembered from the Academy, short hair braided back with lots of shiny pins and gems that glinted in the moonlight as she stood serenely with her arms clasped in front of her. She had pale and clearly pretty features, pearl eyes only accentuating the creamy dress she wore; a decent length of to the knees and wrist-length sleeves, but cut in a way that hinted at a certain amount of wickedness with her rolling curves and bust.

A platinum blonde whose name eluded him stood beside the first beauty, hip cocked to the side with obvious spunk as she tossed her long ponytail back. Deep blue eyes fringed by ridiculously long eyelashes stared at him, trying their best to draw his attention away from the midriff purple vest and matching leather miniskirt that showed off toned muscles and never ending legs that ended in pumps with heels so sharp and fine it could probably slit a man's throat.

Another blonde bounced beside her, golden pigtails and large bust moving in a rhythmic fashion. Pouty lips and sparkling cerulean eyes popped out at Sasuke, setting off the dusky oranges she wore in the form of small scraps of clothing that barely hid her modesty and made you want to ask for _more._ It was only the thin lines arcing across her cheeks that brought the spark of recognition to Sasuke's mind, and he stared dubiously at the beauty before him. "…Dobe?"

"Oh!" the golden-haired girl said in a breathy voice. "You remember me, Sasuke-kun! I didn't think you would…"

"What with the make over and all," the blonde beside her drawled. "No one's seen us in months, Naru-chan, what'd you expect? Him to instantly recognise you?"

"Ino?" Sasuke said, now slightly freaked out by the transformation of one of his worst fangirls into this mature, sexy girl on the cusp of womanhood.

Said girl winked at him in reply. "The one and only. And right beside me is the ever lovely Hinata – of course you wouldn't recognise this bombshell, would you?"

Sasuke gaped at the refined glamour of the dark-haired girl who smiled pearly teeth at him in response. "Hello, Sasuke-san. It's a pleasure to see you again."

Swallowing the questions of _'When?' _and '_How the __**fuck**__?' _Sasuke stared steadily at Ino, the lesser of two shocks. "What are you three doing here?"

"We were walking through the neighbourhood and decided to stop by," the disturbingly female Naruto said in reply, eyes still insisting on twinkling. "And stop you along the way."

"As if someone like _you_," Sasuke snorted, "the class dobe, could ever stop someone like me—"

Faster than his eyes could track, Naruto was in his face and in his mouth. Her tongue was warm as it swirled around his mouth, exploring every nook and cranny that it could as her hands did the same to his rigid body. Before Sasuke could even think about getting away, Naruto began to hit certain points of his body to invoke sexual reactions as she continued to give him the Kiss of Surrender.

Not too long after, Sasuke's body went limp in her arms as he passed out due to hormonal overload. He just wasn't used to these reactions, and his immunity was low to actual seduction attempts by professionals, rather than pre-pubescent, idiotic fangirls.

"Well that was disappointing," Ino remarked as she stared at the boy on the ground, body still quivering and an erection fully out. "He didn't even last a minute."

"Don't be so harsh on him, Ino-chan," Hinata said quietly, her voice not hitching and stopping like it once used to. "You forget what training we've gone through to be immune to these things and how none of our colleagues have had the same thing done to them."

"Yeah," sighed Ino, "I guess you're right, Hina-chan. Let's just hurry up and get this idiot home; I'm tired."

"Not too tired for some _training_ tonight, I hope?" a now male Naruto asked as he wandered up to fling Sasuke's body over his shoulder. "'Cause I learnt some new techniques that I'd like to use on some sparring partners."

Hinata and Ino's giggles and jibes back were all the answer Naruto needed, and the trio hurried back to Konoha to dump their unwelcome load so that they could begin some training as soon as possible back at Naruto's place. Maybe even their sensei would drop by and give them some…_pointers._

**Rewind.**

* * *

**Play.**

"I will kill you," hissed out Gaara, his eyes rolling madly as he glared at Naruto from across the gap in their tree branches. The boy was half-transformed into his Bijū form and was more than over the edge; not like Naruto hadn't seen this thousands of times before. He was just glad that they were well away from the arena and Konoha in general after the last repeat. Ugh, bad memories were coming up; _the whips…_

"I will _kill you slowly_," the red-haired boy continued on, barely seeming to notice Naruto's irritated form opposite him as he waited for the stupid, usual monologue to end. "I will **end** your existence!"

"Not if I do it first!" came the angry shout from behind Gaara, just managing to reach his ears before a Naruto kage bunshin shoved a rasengan right through his head to splatter his brains across the leaf foliage around him.

The real Naruto's mouth twisted in distaste as some Gaara-gore got on his old jumpsuit. "Well, I was going to change my outfit soon anyways; what was I thinking all those repeats ago? Orange is cool, but ninja-like? Hardly."

"Talking to yourself is the first sign of madness~!" the kage bunshin that had killed Gaara sung out as it cleaned its hands with a nifty sūiton jutsu.

Naruto kneaded at his brow, trying to get his anger under control for a moment. He then decided, _fuck it_, and turned on the kage bunshin in a fury. "Why is it so hard for you lot to get it through your thick heads that you're _me, _damn it!"

"Whoa," the kage bunshin said, raising its hands up in the universal sign of surrender. "Is someone PMSing or what? What's up in your grill today, Boss?"

A groan worked its way up Naruto's throat and he tossed his hands up into the air in defeat before slumping into a sitting position on the branch he was on, unconsciously using his chakra to stay there due to hundreds of repeats of chakra control training. "I don't know! It's just that…Well, I…_I'm sick of this fucking time loop! _I'm tired of Sasuke and Sakura being an ass to me and Kakashi barely caring about me. I'm tired of making sure that Konoha's saved, only to go right back to being the 'demon brat' anyways. I'm drained of trying to convince Sasuke to stay, only having to end up knocking him out in order for him to stay – which ends him up under ANBU supervision and hating me – or having to kill him! I'M FUCKING EXHAUSTED OF NOT DYING!"

The forest echoed with silence after Naruto's last shout, only the distant sounds of fighting from Konoha proving that there was any other life in the world beside Naruto – although it felt like no one else was every really living in the world anymore, not to Naruto at least.

"Uh," the kage bunshin said intelligently, "I guess now would be a really bad time to tell you that you should eat a Snickers, huh?"

He was dispelled in record speeds by a kunai, courtesy of a pissed off Naruto.

"Fucking dickwad," the blond cursed, still feeling the anger and bitterness coursing through him.

He had tried so hard to remain optimistic about the whole 'repeating life over and over every time you died' situation, but after what must've been years of going through the same storyline, with no one beside him to laugh at the pranks or to cry over the deaths that no one else understood or knew about, Naruto was tired.

He just wanted it all to end.

"I guess this is what Hell is like," Naruto muttered to no one, lying back along the thick tree branch, amongst flecks of Gaara to look up into the canopy of leaves above. "No way to leave and you're being tortured at every turn; fun."

Just then, the distinct sounds of sandals hitting wood reached Naruto's trained ears.

"Oh for fuck's sake," he managed to mutter before an enraged Temari and Kankurō came bursting into the scene. But they stopped abruptly at the sight of the blood and brains dripping down the trunks of trees in the clearing Naruto was in. And they downright paled when they spotted Gaara's very much headless body tangled in a thicket of branches a few levels down.

"Kami…" Temari whispered, her blue eyes beginning to water at the sight of her little brother's body. "How could..How…"

"How could you do this?" Kankurō finished for his sister, dark eyes glowering at Naruto. "Why?"

Reaching for the words that normally came so easily to him – years of lying, and lying and tricking and deceiving – Naruto found himself choking, unable to find just what to say. He swallowed roughly, the haze of anger and despair that had hovered over him all this repeat clearing away to reveal only guild and self-loathing.

"I promised not to..." he whispered, feeling frustrated tears pressing against the back of his eyes. "I swore at the start of this thing not to lose myself to darkness, to never turn my back on my precious people, even when they didn't realise just how precious they were to me. But—"

The appearance of a panting Sakura and Sasuke halted what Naruto was going to say next, and the blond couldn't help but look at them and feel a wave of anger and sadness mixed with frustration wash over him. These were once his beloved teammates; the ones he would die for willingly at the drop of a hat. Now…Now they were merely props that moved and reacted accordingly to whatever he said. They were flat, two-dimensional, and the distance between him and them had never felt greater when they both blanched at seeing the bloody scene, their _young and naïve _faces fluttering with different emotions – emotions that Naruto felt slipping away from him every day.

"Naruto," Sakura gasped out, "how could you do something like this?"

"You would too," the blond replied sadly, not bothering to look at the girl and instead turning to look at the setting sun peaking between the leaves of the surrounding trees. "You would too if your life was one, endless and blurred mess; always repeating, stuck on a loop, and never moving forwards, no matter how many years pass and how much you try to change it."

"What the hell are you talking about, dobe?" demanded Sasuke, more than a little freaked out at the very Itachi-like way that Naruto was acting. He was tense, in case the blond decided now was a good time to slaughter off anyone in the vicinity.

The genin shrugged in answer, still looking away from where Temari and Kankurō were hesitantly creeping down the trees to collect their little brother's body. "I've tried explaining to you two before; it's never worked so why should it now?"

Sasuke and Sakura shared a confused and worried look – well, as much worry and confusion as Sasuke could show in a frown – before shuffling their way along their branch to get closer to Naruto. They both stood by him for a moment, unsure of what to do.

It was Sakura who took the initiative for once, boldly dropping down to sit beside Naruto, pulling her knees in close to wrap her arms around them. She joined the blond in staring out at the setting sun, quiet in her thoughts and presence.

The Uchiha nearby only stood for a moment longer before settling himself further down the branch from Naruto, but still close enough to hear any words spoken between the broken team.

There was a deafening silence for a minute or two, only broken by Temari's muffled sobs and the snap of branched as they removed Gaara's body from the wooden grasp of the tree he was stuck in. Neither of the siblings uttered another word before darting off, not wanting to get on the wrong side of the blond who could so easily kill their brother.

Ignoring the departure of the Suna-nin, Sakura took the lead again, showing the brave side in her that rarely came out. "I'm sorry, Naruto, but I don't remember the conversation we had in which you explained what was happening."

"Of course not," Naruto replied almost instantly, bitterness tainting his voice an ugly colour. "It was several years ago, back when I was foolish enough to think that everything would end up alright."

"Back when we were Academy kids?" Sakura asked mildly, keeping her voice calm and soothing, like she was talking to a wild beast. "I don't remember too much from back then, Naruto, so you'll have to refresh it for me. And Sasuke-kun as well, I'm guessing."

The boy mentioned grunted in agreement, hands propped up under his chin as he waited for darkness to fall; whether it was night first didn't really matter.

Naruto heaved a sigh before responding. "No, Sakura, it wasn't from the Academy days. I think the last time I tried to explain what was happening to you guys was a few years ago; we were in the Forest of Death, just after I had defeated that Zaku dude. I remember it so vividly because it was one of the few times I stopped Orochi-teme from giving Sasuke another nasty hickey seal."

"I…" Sakura trailed off, struggling to communicate her tumbling thoughts clearly. "I don't understand; we were in that forest a few days ago, not years ago. And you never did defeat Zaku, Lee did when you left to go get us another scroll."

"And I've only been bitten by Orochimaru once," Sasuke muttered, brow pinched in thought.

A sharp laugh escaped Naruto's lips, making Sakura flinch back slightly. "Maybe in this repeat that stuff's happened, but there's been several time when I've beaten Zaku – even killed him and his teammates – and you've been bitten by Orochi-teme more times than I can count, Sasuke. It's just that you don't remember it, no one remembers it because it's all rewound back to the day we graduate; every time I die I repeat my life from there. It's a never-ending cycle of death."

"Don't be ridiculous, dobe," Sasuke said bluntly. "Such things don't exist; you've gone mad."

"Is it ridiculous that I know the truth about your family's massacre?" Naruto asked softly, his demeanour contrasting greatly against the surprise and anger blooming across Sasuke's visage. "Or that I know that you and Itachi aren't the last Uchiha alive, nor will you ever be."

Sasuke exhaled harshly, eyes flickering dangerously. "You better explain whatever the hell it is that you're talking about right now, dobe, or I swear—"

"What?" Naruto asked mildly, not at all deterred by Sasuke's fury. "You'll kill me? Go ahead; this repeat's busted anyways. I was planning on practicing my sealing on Gaara, but I guess I got too angry to do it. Shame, I had put so much research towards figuring out the flaws of his seal in the last loop. I guess I can try it again next time anyways; I've got all the time in the world to do whatever the hell I want."

"You're in a time loop," Sakura spoke up softly. It wasn't a question, it was stated with absolute certainness. "That explains all the lingo you've been using recently, as well as the change in attitude and the sudden rise in strength."

Naruto finally broke the calm façade he had on and the gaze he'd been directing at the sun to look at Sakura with surprise etched into his youthful face. Then he softened, a shockingly tender look replacing the lines in his brow and mellowing his aged eyes. "You were always the smartest kunoichi I ever knew."

A blush worked her away across Sakura's face and she ducked her head shyly, her short bangs barely covering her face. "It wasn't really that hard; I'd already been looking into why you were acting so strangely and with the information you just gave us it wasn't so hard to figure it out."

"Stop," Sasuke cut in bluntly, anger still lingering in his face. "I'm not going to believe anything until dobe explains just what the hell eh meant about my family." The dark-haired boy directed a glower at Naruto, whose face twisted slightly in remembrance.

"The last and only time I told you about the truth about your family so bluntly ended with you skewering me with a chidori before burning me alive before I could heal."

Ignoring Sakura's shocked gasp and Sasuke's brief blanch, Naruto continued on to reveal the horror of the Uchiha massacre and what really went on behind the scenes.

"Basically, after the unrest of the Uchiha's lack of participation in the battle against the Kyūbi, and the knowledge of only the sharingan being able to control a Bijū's mind made the village begin to turn against the Uchiha. They suspected Uchiha of foul play, and that made the clan bitter. They began to grow angry over how they had been cheated by the village over and over; Hashirama chosen over Madara to lead the village, Tobirama placing them well away from the rest of the village to keep an eye on them. These things began to build up, and it was only when Sarutobi was returned to the seat of Hokage over a new, fresh and strong shinobi – namely an Uchiha like your father, Fugaku – did they do something about it."

"What?" Sasuke asked desperately, his eyes hungry for more knowledge. "What did they do?"

Naruto took a deep breath before turning to look Sasuke in the eyes, his jaded cerulean ones boring into black. "They planned a coup."

A choking sound came from Sasuke, audible in the depth of the surrounding forest and even over Sakura's muffled scream of surprise.

At seeing the boy's panic, Naruto was quick to lunge forwards to hold him down, apologies written in his eyes. "Wait, Sasuke! There's more! They were pushed towards this idea by several bad people. Namely, Danzō. He pushed the Uchiha into trying to take over Konoha, but he secretly had other plans."

When Sasuke began to calm down, Naruto carefully let go of him to continue the dark and twisted tale of what really happened in the Uchiha massacre. He explained both Danzō's and Obito's – who was a medium for Madara's hate – plans for the death of the Uchiha, and how Sarutobi had tried his best to prevent it. It was only when Naruto reached Itachi's true part in the story did Sasuke show another emotion besides the anger at the manipulation of his clan: horror.

It had taken both Naruto and Sakura holding the boy down to get him to listen, but when they felt Sasuke slump in their grasp they both tentatively let go.

They were met with the sight of Sasuke curled up on the still gore-splattered branch, tears pouring out of his eyes and a scream making its way out of his throat. When it finally clawed its way out, Naruto and Sakura were quick to pick up the boy and hold him between them, hoping that their strength could somehow be given to the body through the contact.

Sakura and Naruto watched the sun finish setting and the stars begin to come out before the last of Sasuke's sobs were rasped out, leaving the boy slumped in their arms; broken and hollow.

Over the top of Sasuke's head, Naruto made eye contact with Sakura and offered her a brittle smile, his eyes dark in the depths of the night. It was right then that any of the last doubts about this whole situation left Sakura's mind, and she was left with a sour taste in her mouth. Both of her teammates had suffered so much; Sasuke from his clan and the lies surrounding it, and Naruto from going through the endless motion of waking up and dying, unsure of when the whole thing would end. And she? She had no sob story, no endless pain to carry on her shoulders. She was a mere civilian playing ninja, and that realisation _hurt. _

'Even after I'd thought that I was getting stronger,' Sakura thought to herself as she helped Naruto cradle Sasuke, 'I am nothing compared to what's out there. If Naruto struggles to defeat opponents, then I would be _crushed _by them; I'm so weak. But…' The pink-haired girl gazed at her teammates, both weighed down by their past and dark knowledge. 'If I can take at least a little bit of the burden from these two, maybe then I'll be a little bit useful.'

Sakura kept these thoughts to herself and didn't utter a single word during the hour she spent huddled up with her teammates, dirty and tired as they watched darkness slowly engulf the world.

It was only when a patrol of exhausted ANBU came bounding through the forest, on a search to find them did they move.

And they moved together; Sakura and Naruto either side of Sasuke to support him, but Sakura's hands fisted in the back of his jumpsuit let Naruto know that she was supporting him as well, and that thought helped him through yet _another _announcement that his grandfatherly figure, Sarutobi Hiruzen was dead.

* * *

At the funeral, when Naruto's eyes were still completely dry from the years spent crying over this one scene, Sakura cried for him. She used up all her tears, weeping for all the times that Naruto couldn't. Next to her, Sasuke got angry at the injustice of it all, just for Naruto who never really could.

And that made all the difference to Naruto, who could smile for the first time ever right after the funeral.

The change felt nice.

* * *

"I can't take all three of you with me," Jiraiya said snappily.

"And why not?" Naruto asked calmly in reply. His arms were folded in front of him, stubbornness emitting from his every pore. "We are a team, and as such, we should go on missions together."

From beside him Sakura spoke up hesitantly, but her jade eyes were steady as she locked gazes with Jiraiya. "I'm sorry, Jiraiya-sama, but you have not officially taken Naruto as your apprentice and, as such, you cannot take him out on a mission alone with the approval of the Hokage. Since there's…no Hokage at the current time, you are unable to take Naruto out of the village without his team, even if you are a Sannin."

At her words Jiraiya stopped his protests and adopted a thinking face, his hands stroking at his chin. "Well…"

"You either take us willingly or we follow you," Sasuke said bluntly, unamused by how long the whole situation was taking.

"It's true," nodded Naruto. "We promise not to be annoying and demand things from you; we'll train together and be as quiet as possible."

Jiraiya cast a dubious look at the blond before scanning Sakura and Sasuke's faces. Apparently whatever it was that he was looking for was there as he gave a quick laugh before pivoting on his foot and walking away. "Alright, kids; you're in! Meet me at the eastern gates in an hour; don't be late, and bring your gear as we'll be out of the village for an unknown amount of time."

With that, the man shushined away, leaving only a puff of smoking and some swirling leaves.

A quick scan of the immediate surroundings to make sure Jiraiya wasn't lingering executed by Naruto left the team more relaxed and grinning.

"I can't believe we're going to be on a team with _the _Jiraiya!" squealed Sakura happily, dancing in front of her two teammates as they headed towards the eastern gate, having already packed their bags in advance. "This is so amazing!"

Naruto chuckled, happy to see such excitement in the girl. "Yeah, well, don't get your hopes up, Sakura; he's nothing more than a pervert and a slacker on this trip."

"But you have seen him fight to the best of his abilities, right?" asked Sasuke, hands in his pockets as he leisurely walked beside Naruto.

It had taken some time for the Uchiha to swallow the fact that Naruto was much older and much more powerful than he was, but after some talking to from the both of his teammates and an assurance from Naruto that he would teach him as much as he could appeased the boy some. And after a few days of rest after the whole invasion by Suna and Oto beside them, Sasuke had gotten more comfortable with Sakura and Naruto's presence.

While initially Sakura had still acted very much like her usual airheaded, fangirling self, Naruto had taken her aside as soon as he could to talk to her about things that Sasuke couldn't quite make out. When they returned, Sakura was looking a little bit pale, but her attitude had begun to resemble the one that she had in the forest when he…broke down; calm, collected and strong. It was a sudden and surprising change, but a rather pleasant one since Sasuke now wasn't getting harassed by Sakura for dates and whatnot.

Of course there was some time when Sakura would revert back to her baby voice and batter her eyelashes at him, but after a couple of words from Naruto she would sober up once more. By now, she was almost a normal human being, albeit one with a rather prominent mood swing and apparently a mental disorder.

Yes, hearing Sakura confess about her 'Inner' had left Sasuke a bit freaked out, but judging by Naruto's casual expression he already knew; of course he did.

As for Sasuke…Well, after hearing the truth about his family Sasuke had wanted to go into a blind rage and murder all of those responsible for the coup. Except after a couple of tales of repeats from Naruto where he had been told about the truth and gone into a blind rage left him feeling slightly nauseous – especially the one where he killed his brother before learning about the truth from him and attempted to destroy Konoha beside one of the men _responsible._

Kami, he was such an idiot sometimes, wasn't he?

"Sasuke! Elemental Nations to Sasuke, are you there?"

Smacking Naruto's prodding hand from his face, Sasuke gave the cheekily grinning blond a glare as he came out of his thoughts to the reality of the eastern gate. "Not funny, dobe."

Sakura rolled her eyes at the boys as they began to bicker, plopping herself down on a nearby bench to wait out the usual spat between them. "Boys…when will they ever learn?"

* * *

"Wow, Ero-sennin, this is so easy!"

Jiraiya could only stare, dumbfounded, at the sight of Naruto forming a perfect rasengan after breezing through the steps to learn it. "H-How? What?"

Nearby, still inside the clearing off the side of the road they had paused at to get some training done, Sakura hid a snicker as she continued doing pull-ups on a tree branch to strengthen her arms. Even Sasuke was hard pressed to hide a smile as he played around with his ninja wire, attempting to do a more complicated web to trap his enemies. He would've preferred to learn a new jutsu, but after seeing what Jiraiya could do with the stuff, he wanted to master this particular tool.

"I guess I'm just that awesome," boasted Naruto as he formed a rasengan in his left hand to go with the one spinning lazily in his right. "Or maybe it's just that this jutsu is too easy." The blond waggled his eyebrows at Jiraiya before turning around to shout at the Uchiha nearby. "Hey, Sasuke!"

"What?" the boy yelled back irritably, Naruto's shout having startled him into failing to do a certain loop in one of the tricks. "I'm busy, dobe."

"Too busy to learn how to do the rasengan~?" Naruto said in a sing-song voice, his grin only getting wider when Sasuke's head snapped up and the boy hurried over.

"Show me," Sasuke demanded, watching the rasengans in Naruto's hands hungrily.

When the boy glanced up to see a chiding expression on Naruto's face, he snorted softly. "Okay, _please_."

"Better," Naruto said with a nod, letting the rasengans dispel so he could grab one of the water balloons from the pile ready made for this training by Jiraiya. "Basically, you have to start with—"

"Woah, woah, woah!" Jiraiya cut across, finally having pulled himself out of his wondrous stupor at realising _just _how strong his godson was. He had seen the boy rathe easily learn how to summon toads, but he put it off as a fluke and his ridiculous chakra levels. This was something entirely different – a jutsu created by his _freaking protégé the Yondaime! _\- and it had taken him a moment to shake himself free from the shock at seeing someone breeze through the technique that had taken three years to create.

"Do you think that you can just go and show whoever the hell you want this technique?" Jiraiya demanded Naruto, a frown pulling at his brow.

Naruto stared at him like he was stupid – which he wasn't. "Well, you taught me this technique and I'm not your apprentice that means you have no hold over who I teach this technique to. And I trust my teammate with this technique, so I'm going to teach it to him."

"Well, what about your other teammate?" Jiraiya asked almost desperately. "What about her; doesn't she want to learn it?"

"Don't have enough chakra for it yet!" Sakura called out to the man from where she had begun to do push ups. "Not interested in it until I'm strong enough."

"See?' Naruto said to Jiraiya, one of his eyebrows raised almost mockingly. "Sakura's fine with it. And if it makes you feel any better about the unfairness of it all, Sasuke has to teach me the chidori." Naruto turned to Sasuke with a smile, his eyes trained on Sasuke's dark ones. "Right?"

Sasuke narrowed his eyes at Naruto, an unspoken statement going through the two of their meeting eyes – _wouldn't you already know the chidori by now, dobe? Or have you been too stupid to learn how to do it on your own?_

Initially scowling at the words read in Sasuke's face, Naruto slung his arms behind the back of his head and gave a nervous laugh. "I know the handsigns already, I just don't know how to maniupate my chakra properly."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed further, making Naruto smile uneasily before he gave a curt nod. "Teach me the rasengan first and we're good."

"Deal!" shouted Naruto, sealing it with a handshake before dragging Sasuke and the supplies necessary to learn the rasengan further into the clearing and away from Sakura so that she wouldn't get injured by any flying balloons. It wouldn't take long for Sasuke to learn the rasengan as the chidori was a shape-manipulation based jutsu like the rasengan, and Naruto was easily more forthcoming with information and tips than Jiraiya to help the boy along; then he'd be learning the chidori!

Jiraiya stared after them for a moment, dumbfounded, before turning to a giggling Sakura who was now hefting rocks over her head. "Is he always like this?"

"Who?' Sakura asked with a laugh. "Naruto or Sasuke?"

"Both are just troublesome."

"You have no idea, Jiraiya-sama. No idea at all."

* * *

Naruto had made sure to explain to both Sakura and Sasuke how and when Itachi and Kisame would arrive, and why they were after him. He was surprised at how easily they took the knowledge of him holding the Kyūbi in his gut – he'd seen it turn badly in a hundred different ways at least – but even more so at how the two instantly began to devise a plan; both on keeping Naruto free and making Itachi come back to the village.

The plan was for Naruto and Sakura to keep Kisame busy while Sasuke tried to talk to Itachi – but of course since it was the fucking unlucky Team Seven, it went wrong almost instantly.

Kisame wasn't interested in talking and Sakura was completely unaware of how powerful the man really was – stories weren't enough to really get the picture of just how vicious and strong an S-class criminal was. She folded under his sword, crumpling over the edges for a moment, her jade eyes wide with shock right before she was shredded to pieces in front of Naruto's eyes.

The blond had no time to react to the blood and bits of his teammate splattering across his face as Kisame came in swinging again, his harsh laughter ringing throughout the corridor of the motel they had booked into by Jiraiya's insistence.

It was only with a couple of blasts of compressed air at the blue-skinned monster that Naruto got any breathing space, and that was just in time to see Itachi snap Sasuke's neck. It was almost a casual motion, just a mere grab of the tearful boy's throat who had just poured his heart out to his misplaced older brother and a flick of the wrist.

No one knew, but Itachi was crying tears mixed with blood as he did so. It may have been deemed heartless and cruel to kill your little brother after he professed that he still loved you, but Itachi couldn't run the risk of his brother being captured by any unfavourable parties and corrupting him with blackmail and lies to turn against Konoha – especially since Sasuke had admitted that he hated Konoha slightly after finding out the truth.

Itachi couldn't face Shisui in the afterlife if everything they had worked towards – the peace they had managed to scrape together – went up in flames by his younger brother who had lost himself to the cycle of hatred. So he killed Sasuke, because there was nothing else he could do without going against everything he had lived for in the past decade – who was he if he was not the hated Itachi, killer of the Uchiha clan?

Of course, Naruto didn't see it this way. He just saw both of his teammates killed right in front of him; one in such small shreds that there was no way that anyone could ever bury her, and the other in a tragic turn of events right after he learnt that his brother still loved him, and he loved him back.

All the willpower and resistance Naruto had built up towards the Kyūbi and the temptation of his power during the repeats was snapped in a second.

Kisame wasn't fast enough to raise his sword up to block the blood-soaked and blood-red chakra covered Naruto that leapt towards him. He was rewarded with a set of newly elongated teeth sinking into his arm and savaging at it, tearing chunks of blue skin and red muscle mass off to spit onto the floor.

The blood splattered against the floor, and deep red that mingled with the scraps of Sakura and what was left of her pretty, red clothes to paint a red_red__**red**_scene on the floor. It was mirrored in Naruto's eyes as he continued to snap and snarl at Kisame, three tails already blooming out behind him to thrash the walls into fine powder.

But for all of his power, Naruto could not stand against the might of the Amateratsu. It took a few moments for the black fire to pierce through the cloak surrounding Naruto – resulting in Kisame losing a large piece of his kneecap to Naruto's hungry jaws – but as soon as it hit Naruto's skin he shrieked in pain. The cloak dropped, as well as the boy, who writhed on the ground as his skin was burnt off him in long peeling strips and his blood boiled.

Kisame looked on with vindictive glee at the sight of his tormentor being burned to absolutely nothing which gave Itachi enough time to burn the image of Sasuke's broken body on the floor into his mind with his sharingan before wiping his face of emotion and tears. He stood beside Kisame, watching Naruto burn and scream as the demon in his gut tried to heal him, resulting in an interesting effect of constant healing that was torn down in a matter of seconds.

This was the scene Jiraiya burst into. He took one look at Naruto's nearly dead body before bellowing in rage and lunging at the Akatsuki duo.

* * *

**Okay, so this was a rather long and mixed chapter. I know many of you were probably a bit uncomfortable with al of the sexual stuff I was throwing around, but I'm sorry to say that stuff will be staying in the thick of this story. **

**And no, in response to many of your reviews, I'm not going to make a perfect plot for this story. I do have an idea of where it will go in the form of a very, **_**very **_**basic storyline, but there won't really be any specific moments planned.**

**Heck, I didn't plan any of this, it just came out!**

**I hope you enjoyed anyway, my friends!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay…Hi?**

**Yeah, so I haven't been around in while, but I swear that I have good reasons! Sure, there was school and my usual laziness, but my laptop also busted and I fucked up my left shoulder which meant my entire arm was screwed up. Have you ever tried to write with one hand? It's slow and painful, so I basically went 'Fuck that!' and left it. I also have gotten into watching Supernatural, and basically spent all my free time watching it – I'm now up to season 7.**

**I also had to fly around the world to visit family, so I'm currently hashing this out between family time. So enjoy it if you'd please.**

* * *

**Disclaimer: **_Too lazy to say much else either than I don't own anything in here either than my ideas._

**Warning: **_Who the frickity frack knows! But there will be some stupidity and OOCness in here, bros._

* * *

**Play.**

When Naruto woke up to the same ceiling he'd lived in for Kami-knows how many years, at exactly twenty two minutes before he had to be at the academy for team placements, in the same shrimp-like and weak twelve-year old body he had been shoved into thousands of times over, he did nothing.

While usually he may have bolted out of bed to go and mess with some of the paperwork to get him onto a new team, or began a new prank, or just ran off to another part of the Elemental Nations to start a new life, this time around…he just couldn't.

All the fun and laughter that he had built up in the weeks with Sasuke and Sakura – the friendship and trust he'd never really experienced before with those two _together_ – had drained out of him as soon as he'd seen Sakura get carved into shreds by Kisame, and Sasuke get snapped as easily as a twig by his own brother.

Honestly, his life sucked and was going to go on forever, why shouldn't he just lie here and stare up at the ceiling for the rest of his life?

But this wasn't the first time it felt like all the life had been drained out of him. Life would go on (and on, and on, and on), and Naruto would go to the Academy to find out he was with Sasuke and Sakura once more, but not before he did his usual reawakening ritual of burning all the candles he had in his house and praying for a few minutes for all the lives he'd seen pass on (over and over again and again).

The ceremony cleansed his soul slightly of the blackness that had been tainting it since he'd reawakened, and Naruto felt minutely better as he pulled on his usual orange jumpsuit and bounded out of his apartment window with a breakfast consisting of a mottled apple shoved into his mouth.

He chewed on it as he breezed past several Chunin guards he'd done a couple of jobs with, unbothered with the fact that he was showing more ability and power than most Chunin and some Jōnin; he was planning on a short loop anyways, to detox the feeling of comradeship he felt with Sasuke and Sakura. It would hurt less when he looked at their foolish, oblivious selves who were going to plunge themselves into a life of betrayal, sorrow, fury, revenge and ultimately death.

As per usual.

Naruto opted for the mundane way of entering the classroom, filing in behind some stragglers who were anxiously wringing their hands or grinning maniacally at the thought of being placed with two other brats in the class for what was probably going to be the rest of their life; 'til death do us part, right?

Naruto managed a dry chuckle at that, eliciting several suspicious and confused looks from his fellow graduates – especially at the fact that the class 'dead last' had somehow graduated at some point during the three days break between exams an team placements. But the blond ignored them as he shuffled his way over to his usual spot, deciding on a basic run down of the day – an original version, only without the stupidity – to get back into the swing of things.

However, as he made his way towards his usual spot a row before the back, he noticed that the entire row was empty.

_Absolutely empty._

A churning sensation started up in Naruto's gut as he froze halfway up the steps. Not even Kiba's yelled out taunts could break through the panicked haze that was gently settling across the blond's gaze.

Stiffly, Naruto's head turned side to side, even as the hairs on his neck rose and his body began to tremble gently. He was searching for…Kami-knew what! This had never happened before! Never, ever, ever! Not in all of his hundreds of lives!

"Oh, crap," Naruto muttered to himself as he slowly pivoted in a circle to stare at the curious, fresh faces of genin-hopefuls who were staring right back at the boy whose face had paled dramatically and had begun to tremble. "Crap. Crap. Crap."

Knowing that repeating that word over and over wasn't going to help him at all, Naruto whipped out a bunch of kunai to splay across his fingers, greatly shocking his classmates with his steely expression.

Before Kiba could ask what was wrong with the blond, and before said blond could _truly _comprehend just _what the hell was going on! _Sakura came crashing through the door to the classroom, flames of fury lapping around her feet and murder in her eyes.

Naruto couldn't help but let out a small scream of fear and confusion as Sakura's eyes – _sweet Kami they were red, they were totally red_ – locked onto his trembling form. Years of training kicked in, and Naruto dropped into a battle stance honed by years of experience, created from hundreds of taijutsu styles copied from hundreds of people all across the Nation.

That quickly fell to shreds as Sakura stomped towards him, screaming sentences that didn't quite make sense.

"YOU DID THIS TO ME, UZUMAKI! YOU FUCKING DID THIS! I'M GOING TO BEAT YOUR SCRAWNY ASS FROM HERE TO THE NEXT LOOP, 'WAR HERO' OR NOT!"

"What the fuck?" Naruto blurted intelligently as Sakura got close enough to slam her forehead to his, making him wince from the contact. "Loop? War hero? What are—?"

"Don't play dumb with me, Naruto," the pink-haired and incredibly murderous Sakura snarled quietly as she leaned closer to Naruto. "I know how smart you really fucking are, and I swear to sweet Kami if you play dumb with me right now I'll miraculously learn the rasengan in the next five seconds and shove it up your ass."

A metaphorical lightbulb went off above Naruto, and the light dawned in his cerulean eyes. "…S-Sakura?"

The pink-haired girl leant back to give the blond some space, crossing her arms with an irritated huff as she did so. "Who the hell did you think it was? Fucking Kisame? Remember, he's fucking around with Itachi right now and isn't going to show up for another few months."

"Holy flying fuck," Naruto managed to mutter in reply, right before the light in his eyes grew to blinding and he threw himself at Sakura with an excited cheer after tucking away the kunai he'd been holding back into his pouch. "You're here, Sakura-chan! You're really here!"

"All because of you, idiot," Sakura managed to reply crankily through a mouthful of orange material, but she squeezed back just as tightly (just as desperately). "And since when did I go back to chan?"

A choked up laugh managed to escape Naruto's lips as he disengaged from the grasping hug, barely bothering to wipe the tears that were trickling down his face as he gazed into his teammates jaded eyes. "Sorry, Sakura, just a bit of nostalgia."

Sakura snorted in answer, but her hand was soft as she patted Naruto's shoulder. "Once an idiot, always an idiot."

A goofy grin crossed Naruto's face as he tucked his arms behind his head, a habit he thought had died a long time ago (along with a greater part of his soul and heart). "Hell yeah, 'ttebayo!"

Right before Sakura could continue their comfortable banter, Kiba was suddenly in the middle of the two, face screwed up in confusion and anger. "Oi, you two; mind explaining just what the hell is going on for everyone else? You're acting like you're long lost lovers; I thought you hated Naruto!" Kiba directed the last bit at Sakura, who didn't even flinch.

"Yeah, but that was before he became my teammate and best friend, and opened my eyes to the truth of the shinobi world. Mutt," Sakura added as an afterthought, gaze compassionate and dangerous, even as she turned to Naruto once more. "How many times have you told the truth to this lot before?"

The looper shrugged uncaringly in answer, his confident yet dangerous stance completely baffling the other children in the classroom. "Lost count; KIba and your reactions were always the funniest, though."

A faint blush appeared on Sakura's cheeks as she ducked her head in embarrassment. "Sorry, 'Ruto. You know that I've learnt since then."

"Learnt what?" Kiba asked rudely, cutting off Naruto's reassurances that he knew that Sakura had changed. "What the hell are you guys talking about?"

Yet again, Naruto was cut off by answering by, yet again, the door slamming open.

This time, though, it was a stormy-faced and snarling Sasuke that stood in the doorway. **"YOU."**

"Sasuke's in it too!" Naruto cheered, arms pumping in the air joyfully. "I knew something was up when he wasn't sitting in his usual spot this morning!"

The reply he got from Sasuke was a bunch of kunai tossed his way with deadly accuracy.

Laughing, even amongst the startled screams of his classmates, Naruto easily plucked the weapons from the air and gathered them into his hands. With a grin, he tossed them back to Sasuke who caught them stiffly, a stony expression now placed firmly onto his pale face.

"Explanation," Sasuke bit out as he stowed away his kunai and marched into the room and towards a grinning Naruto and Sakura. "Now."

Sakura crossed her arms and pivoted to face Naruto once more as Sasuke stopped beside her, the both of them ignoring Kiba who was still asking questions. "Yeah," the kunoichi said firmly, "I think an explanation's in order."

Naruto cast a look at the two of them, eyes still unnaturally bright. Then he gave a shrug. "Hell if I know. I'm just as surprised as you guys are; I didn't even know that others could come into the loop!"

"That's because you're an idiot," Sasuke said dryly, casting a searching look at Sakura, who grinned wickedly at him in response; an expression Sakura would've never made at him unless…

"You too?" Sasuke asked shortly, one brow raised slightly.

"Yup," Sakura said cheerfully, causing Sasuke's other eyebrow to rise up to join the other and his face to soften slightly. "Hn."

"And that," Naruto butted in cheerfully, "my dear friends, is Uchiha for 'Good, I couldn't survive without you.'"

He got a swift punch in the arm for that, courtesy of Sasuke, but there was a smile on all three kids faces (even if it was microscopic for Sasuke, Naruto more than made up for the lack of expression). It was ridiculous – they were now stuck in a never-ending time loop for Kami's sake! – but Sakura and Sasuke couldn't help but smile back at the ecstatic blond, who had finally gained some true friends in his own personal hell.

Suddenly, a thought occurred to Naruto. His ears pricked up and a toothy grin crept across his face. "Hey, Iruka-sensei isn't here this morning; do you think he's in the loop too?" The boy sounded ecstatic at the mere thought of his favourite (non-sexually involved) adult being part of the whole gig. Iruka was one of the few people Naruto had always loved throughout the loops, as the man had never done anything to him (*cough*Kakashi*cough*), nor kept things from him (*cough*The Sandaime*cough*), and the thought of an adult he could actually go to with his woes was exciting, even though Naruto was an adult a hundred times over – he was merely stuck in the body of a pre-pubescent boy at the moment, that was all.

Something akin to a shifty look appeared on Sasuke's face, and the boy averted his eyes from his friends with a twist of his lips.

Being the genius she was (as well as an expert on most things Sasuke), Sakura picked up on the change of expression. Her eyes narrowed and flared slightly with wary anger as she turned on the silent boy. "Sasuke…What have you done to Iruka-sensei?"

It seemed like the boy wouldn't talk, not even when Naruto turned hopefully shining puppy eyes onto him. But when neither of his teammates would look away, Sasuke let out an irritated sigh before answering in a short manner. "I thought I was in a genjutsu when I first woke up and Iruka was the first adult I saw…I had to make sure this wasn't a trick by Itachi."

"You tortured him, didn't you?" Sakura asked bluntly, making Sasuke flinch slightly. "Unbelievable, Sasuke. You didn't think to think it through for a moment? The most I did was scream a little when I woke up, not bloody go and beat the shit out of our old sensei!"

Naruto let out a whimper at that, turning betrayed eyes onto Sasuke. "Sasuke, how could you do this to me? I thought we were friends."

"I didn't torture him," Sasuke protested half-heartedly. "I just…_may have used a few genjutsu on him._" He said the last bit in a mumbled rush, hoping that his teammates wouldn't be able to understand what he'd said. Unfortunately, he hadn't accounted on Naruto's well trained hearing, and the blond didn't react well to what he'd heard.

Throwing his hands up into the air, Naruto let out a pained bellow. "You mind fucked one of my favourite sensei, teme! The only one who didn't lie to me! I'm so mad right now!"

"Hey," Sasuke spat back, "you've probably gotten Iruka killed dozens of times before while looping, and so don't you dare act high and mighty, dobe!"

Pointedly ignoring the last remark, Naruto grumbled and ran an agitated hand down his face. "Now this loop's busted…Fuck it, we'll just do a quick talk over and then rewind after we've sorted it all out. There's no point in continuing this loop as we're either going to end up in the mental hospital or jail."

"Must be like home to you," Sasuke muttered spitefully, but quickly snapped his mouth shut when Sakura elbowed him and gave him a fiery glare.

"To the Hokage Monument!" Naruto shouted suddenly, startling several of the kids who were raptly paying attention to the confusing drama, pointing a finger into the air dramatically. "Away my friends!"

With a burst of speed that seemed to break the sound barrier, Naruto went vaulting out of an open window to a nearby rooftop to bounce his way to his usual thinking spot atop of his father's head.

Sasuke and Sakura shared a look, the latter giving a quick shrug before they went sprinting after their friend, barely bothered by the large distances between each building.

Majority of the graduating class stared after them, open-mouthed and bug-eyed, not quite sure what had just transpired. Only Shikamaru seemed unbothered by what had happened, merely muttering about 'troublesome humans' before going back to taking a nap; he didn't want to be tired when he met his new sensei.

* * *

"So you really have no idea how we got into this loop as well?" Sakura asked Naruto when they had finally reached their destination and settled down, feet swinging over the edge of Naruto's fathers head.

The blond could only shrug, unzipped jacket slipping off his shoulders as he leant back on his hands. "Like I said before; the hell if I know. And Kyūbi doesn't know either," he added when he saw Sasuke's expression. "He only managed to snap a no at me before he threw me out and went back to sulking over our defeat by your brother's magic eyes."

Sasuke flinched at that, causing Naruto to tilt his head curiously towards him. "What? What's wron—Oh." The blond grimaced slightly. "Sorry. Forgot it was your first death; you're not really used to it, are you?"

The deadpan look that Sasuke sent the original looper in answer had Naruto chuckling nervously as he scratched his head. "I'm sorry, man, but this is a first for me. I have no idea what I'm doing!"

"How about some explanations, idiot," Sakura gently ribbed him, face scrunched slightly in thought. "When the loops restart, our base statistics, limitations—"

"Limitations?" Naruto asked incredulously. "Oh no, Sakura! There's no limitations in the loops! Whatever you think up, you do, no second-guessing! Want to steal the underwear off of the Hyūga washing line? Sure, go ahead! Just remember that Hiashi gets really grumpy when you hang all of his off of the Hokage tower."

"What about murder?" Sasuke asked, eyes darkening a shade or two. "Destroying? Rebelling?"

"Been there, done that," Naruto said in a sing-song voice. "Seriously guys, don't even think about what you can and can't do; just do it. Trust me, if anything goes wrong, we can just restart."

Sakura stood up then, hands on her hips as she glared down at Naruto. "And how the hell do we do that?"

Jumping up to stare back at Sakura, Naruto gave her a foxy grin and a salute. "Like this."

Without any warning at all, Naruto let himself tip over the edge of the Hokage Monument. His grin was still visible to Sakura and Sasuke as they watched him plummet to the ground far below, voices and body stolen by shock.

The last thing they heard from the blonde before he hit the ground was, "Come to my place once you've re-awoken!"

Then there was a dull thud from down below, and a few screams from civilians passing by before it all went dark for Sakura and Sasuke.

**Rewind.**

* * *

**Play.**

Sakura fumbled the brush in her hands, completely disorientated by the change in environment. Going from watching your friend's death from on top of the Hokage Monument to brushing your hair earlier that day was strange to say the least.

Sakura's hands were shaking slightly as she placed the brush onto her bedside table, but she barely noticed that. She was too busy staring into the wide jade eyes that were staring out at her from her mirror.

"I don't look different at all," the girl murmured to herself, her right hand raising to caress the cool surface of the mirror lightly. "But…"

_She __**felt**__ different._

Even after only being aware for two loops, Sakura felt so different from the fresh-faced, pink-haired girl that was staring at her from the mirror. She felt like she should be a little bit taller, have a few more scars, maybe be wearing a completely different outfit. Just _anything_ to give her a sign that everything that had happened wasn't a dream, and that she wasn't going more insane than usual.

**Look at your eyes, idiot.**

After flinching slightly at the sudden voice of her Inner – hadn't she been incorporating the voice into her usual consciousness? It shouldn't be so active – Sakura gazed back into her reflections eyes. Finally, some part of her appearance matched the soul on the inside.

People had always remarked on how her eyes were a lovely shade of jade. Now, however, they were jaded from all of the crazy and terrifying experiences she had gone through; her friends melting down mentally, seeing splatters of red that had once been a corpse, dying in an absolutely _excruciating _way, watching her friend die, and then waking up all over again.

It was enough to drive anyone mad.

"Oh, Naruto," the girl sighed at her reflection, "how did you do this for so long?"

Sakura's gut churned as she thought of all of the pain and suffering Naruto must've gone through, always alone, always scared.

But no more.

"I'm going to be there for you, Naruto," both the girl in the mirror and Sakura said passionately. "I swear it on every single one of my lives that I will be."

* * *

When Sasuke re-awoke, he was in the middle of walking to the Academy. He always got there early, to give him enough time to steel himself for a painful day filled with stupid ass fangirls and idiotic children.

But no more.

After a quick stumble in his steps as his consciousness rewound back into his body, Sasuke gave his head a rigorous shaking to clear it of any doubts and woes he had of the whole situation.

He was stuck in the loop now, no matter what, so there was no point crying over it. Here was his chance to finally power up, to get stronger to fulfil his new goal.

Save Uchiha Itachi.

It didn't matter how many times he had to rewind his life and play it once more, he was going to save his brother. He was going to save him until the end of his days, over and over. And if he was also going to make sure his idiotic teammates weren't going to completely screw themselves over along the way…Well, that was his business.

With barely a second glance towards the Academy and all of the genin-hopefuls filing in, Sasuke turned on his heel and ran off towards where he knew Naruto's apartment lay.

* * *

Upon re-awakening on his shitty bed in his crummy apartment, Naruto cast an ecstatic grin towards his cracked ceiling, inwardly thanking whatever divine being had blessed him with companions on his fucked up journey.

It was definitely time to have some _fun._

* * *

"Are you sure that he won't notice anything wrong?" Sakura asked Naruto worriedly as they sat down at their usual spots in the classroom of their (repeated) youth. "I mean, we _have _had a complete change in personality."

Slumping down in the seat to Sakura's left, well away from the fangirls that were cooing his name from their own seats, Sasuke let out a sharp snort. "Please, Sakura, as if Kakashi will notice anything wrong. His head's stuck in that perverted book of his all the time. Also – who really cares? If Kakashi thinks we're a threat, we can easily rewind the loop."

Leaning across Sakura, Naruto gave Sasuke an ecstatic punch in his shoulder. "Now you're learning, Teme!"

Scowling, Sasuke slapped the blond's hand away. "'War hero' or not, Dobe, I will beat your ass into the ground if you keep doing stuff like that."

"I'm sorry," Naruto said with a grin, showing that he really wasn't sorry. "But, seriously, this is so great!"

Without any warning, Naruto slung his left arm behind Sakura to grab at Sasuke, while his right arm circled around the front of the two to create an impromptu hug. "I'm so happy that you guys are here!"

"Naruto!" whined Sakura, struggling to get out of the blond's tight hold as he rubbed his face affectionately into her shoulder. "Stop it."

Beside her, Sasuke wheezed out a complaint. His face was screwed up in anger and irritation, but his attempts to get free were half-hearted at best, much like Sakura's. Both of the young teens knew how much it meant to Naruto to have people in the loops, especially people he could trust and talk to, so they let him continue to squeeze them, however much they disliked the sensation.

Of course, this only caused majority of the class around them who were paying attention to start gossiping wildly – including an indignant Ino, who glared at Sakura's close proximity with her Sasuke-kun – but none of the members of Team Seven particularly cared.

Even as Naruto settled down to let Iruka begin to announce the genin teams, neither Sakura nor Sasuke scooted themselves away from each other. There was no way that they were going to leave each other behind again, in life or death that was certain.

When Iruka announced Team Seven's squad members, the trio of loopers merely gave each other smug grins and Sakura and Naruto even dared to give each other a discreet high five in celebration.

This was going to be _wild._

* * *

"Okay, so," started Sakura as she and her two teammates took their seats on the steps on the Academy rooftop in preparation for Kakashi's arrival, "what now?"

"Introductions!" Naruto said excitedly, bouncing up out of his seat to pace in front of Sasuke and Sakura. His hands moved wildly as he began an impromptu lecture for the rookie loops, excitement clearly evident in every motion. "This is one of the funniest things to do in each loop! Depending on how you present yourself in each loop, you can set the basis of what everyone else thinks about you."

A quiet hum came from Sasuke to interrupt Naruto's speech, and the blond readily turned to the other male to hear what he had to say.

"I'm betting you used the introductions to showcase yourself to Sakura and I," the Uchiha began slowly, looking to Naruto for approval. When the looper nodded, Sasuke forged on ahead. "Then what's the point of changing our introductions now? There's only Kakashi to impress, and I highly doubt he's going to take some rookie genin's words seriously."

Naruto shook his head despairingly. "Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke. How wrong you are."

When said boy bristled indignantly, Naruto was quick to carry on. "What I mean is; even Kakashi can have his point of view on you changed by the first words you say to him. For example, in your original loop, Kakashi called me a slacker since I was asleep on the desk, while also degrading the two of you for ignoring me and letting me be slack."

"Totally unfair if you ask me," Sakura muttered darkly to herself.

Rolling his eyes in a well natured manner, Naruto continued on like he hadn't heard the girl. "Well, in my original loop we all got called idiots since I played a small prank on Kakashi and you two kind of just stood by. Kakashi continued to treat us like kids since we acted like kids. But if our first impression is good…"

"Kakashi will take us seriously," Sasuke finished firmly. "Good."

"Out of curiosity," Sakura quickly cut in before Naruto could continue. "How many times have you _actually _acted well in the introduction for Kakashi to take you seriously, rather than just screw around with him?"

A nervous chuckle wormed its way out of Naruto's lips as he scratched his head sheepishly. "Er, not many? It's just a lot more fun to muck around and freak Kakashi out."

"We're not doing something stupid this loop," Sasuke said petulantly. "There's no way I'm acting like a moron. I just want Kakashi to take us seriously."

An evil smirk worked its way onto Naruto's face at those words, and only continued to grow when he began to rub his hands together devilishly. "Ne, Sasuke, how serious do you reckon Kakashi will take us if a 'rookie genin' used his signature jutsu on him?"

A look of realisation dawned on Sasuke's face before he relaxed it into a smirk directed at Naruto. "I think I'm liking this idea…"

"Hey," Sakura cut in swiftly, "I can already see where this is heading – the two of you using the Rasengan and Chidori to amaze Kakashi while I get nothing."

"Hurry up and learn something useful then," Sasuke said haughtily, a smirk still firmly in place on his face.

A quick and powerful slug in his arm from Sakura quickly wiped the smirk off and made the Uchiha cringe. "Why do you do that _every time_? I almost miss the days when you were still a weak fangirl."

That earned Sasuke another punch in the arm, causing him to rub gingerly at the offended limb.

"Knock it off, idiot," Naruto said to Sasuke before he turned his attention to Sakura. "Ne, Sakura, you _do _remember those suiton and doton jutsu I taught you, right?"

"Yeah," the girl huffed, "great load of good some D and C-ranked jutsu will do against high A-ranked, super-secret jutsu."

Naruto pouted slightly at Sakura. "Rasengan and Chidori are just shape-manipulation jutsu, with a bit of lightning thrown in for the Chidori – as soon as you get enough chakra, you'll be able to learn it in no time at all.

However, pretty much all genin are unable to use any elemental jutsu as it's just too hard for them to change their natural chakra form into an elemental. I only originally learnt elemental jutsu when I was about sixteen years old, and Sasuke only began to learn ones either than his family katon jutsu when he was about fourteen. Kakashi will be pretty amazed by your techniques."

Mollified by such a response, Sakura gave Naruto a quick flash of a smile and a nod. "Yeah, okay then. That sounds good. I can try and slow Kakashi down with some doton jutsu so that you and Sasuke can hit him with your attacks."

"Yeah!" Naruto said cheerfully, starting to get pumped up once more. "I can even lend you some chakra so that you can flood the whole area with water – showing that we can do water-walking is bound to surprise Kakashi as well."

"You'd have to get off so that I could fire some raiton jutsu through the surface of it," Sasuke added. "That'd probably stun him enough to give Naruto and I enough time to power up our attacks. If not, Sakura can hold him still with her doton jutsu."

A smile quirked up Sakura's lips. "Sweet and simple – I like it."

"Right on," Naruto cheered. "Now, all we have to do is pass the time so that Kakashi can show up. We can work on our introductions then. We'll do real truthful ones, just to hit him in the heart."

"Sounds good," Sakura agreed readily. "Let's do it."

* * *

"Now," Kakashi began when he had finally found his team and settled down in front of them, "I don't know you, and you don't know me. How about we fix that? Go ahead and introduce yourselves." He gave a cheerful eye-smile at the group of children in front of him just as he pointed at Sakura. "Ladies first."

Smiling sweetly, Sakura batted her eyelashes playfully back at Kakashi. "How about you show us how it's done first, sensei?"

Continuing to smile, Kakashi agreed readily. "Alright then. My name's Hatake Kakashi and…"

As the jōnin continued to speak, Sasuke and Sakura directed flat looks at each other, conveying their thoughts through their exasperated faces – _he says as much as he did the first time round._

Between them, Naruto hurriedly covered up a snicker. The two rookies still had to learn that, unless you did something to change the setting or people around you, nothing would change. Let alone Kakashi's mysteriousness.

When Kakashi politely directed the responsibility of introducing themselves back towards Sakura, the girl readily stepped up to the plate with a coy smile.

"My name's Haruno Sakura. I like sweet foods, making a good impression, and my teammates. I dislike failing and time-wasting exercises. My hobbies include upping the amount of chakra I contain as well as reading fascinating books on medical science. The dream I hold is to kick a certain fishy asshole's ass for daring to mess me up, both literally and metaphorically."

Rather taken aback by the serious and weird ambition, as well as the realistic likes and dislikes – he was expecting a _fangirl _here! – Kakashi could only give Sakura a forced smile in response. "That's…ah, a very interesting dream you have there." The jōnin quickly directed the attention away from the slightly unsettling smile Sakura held to aim it at Naruto's bright grin and jumpsuit. "Next up, sunshine over here."

"Hi there, my name's Uzumaki Naruto," the blond began cheerfully, one hand clutching at his headband. "My likes involve training hard, having fun and my precious people. On the other hand, I dislike repetition and when things go wrong in the bad way. My hobbies mainly revolve around keeping my life interesting and finding out everything I can about the world around me. My dream is to become a fantastic and legendary team with Sakura and Sasuke."

'_Another_ unexpected introduction,' Kakashi thought woozily to himself as he flicked between the ridiculous and loud Naruto he'd seen grow up, and the confident-looking boy in front of him. 'When did all of these changes happen?'

"Last but not least," Kakashi blurted out quickly, anxious to get the strangeness of the situation over, "dark and brooding over there."

He had called Sasuke that in hope that at least one of his students would be like the evaluation he had gotten from the Academy teachers, as well as the details he'd picked up over the years. However, he knew he was going to be disappointed when, rather than scowling disdainfully at him or doing any other sort of dark action, Sasuke tilted his head in acknowledgement before launching into his introduction.

"I am Uchiha Sasuke. I don't like many things, the few being tomatoes, those that I can trust, and feeling strong and capable. I dislike liars and betrayers, as well as losing to life."

(Kakashi was sure the other two of his possible students had grinned at that last bit, but he wasn't too sure.)

Continuing on like he hadn't just made the girl beside him smother hysterical giggles, Sasuke slowly churned out the rest of his speech. "I wouldn't particularly call training a hobby, but I guess that's the closest thing I have to it. I do know my dream, however, and that is to help build up the Uchiha clan, and _save a certain someone_."

"Okay," Kakashi trilled out, "you're all _very interesting _– highly unexpected – people." The man's face fell into shadow all of a sudden, his voice getting rougher with the severity of his tone. "But you're not genin _yet._"

Rather than the shrieks and shouts of surprise and shock that Kakashi had been expecting (and hoping) for, the three genin-hopefuls merely gave him a flat look.

An awkward silence stretched out between the collected group as Kakashi waited for a response and the loopers waited for him to continue.

Finally, Kakashi cocked his head at them. "Aren't you going to ask my why you aren't genin yet?"

"No," Sakura said shortly. "We already know about the test that culls most of the year group so that only the most competent teams are inducted into the shinobi force of Konoha. We've talked to actual genin teams, we know the drill."

"Oh," Kakashi said softly, unsure of what he had to say to the blank expression on the girls face. "Well, to do this test you have to meet me at six am sharp tomorrow at training ground—

"We know the grounds," Sasuke cut in, standing up alongside his teammates. "Don't worry, we'll be there and ready to go. Let's just hope that you're prepared for us." With that, the trio began to wander back towards the exit stairs, clearly uninterested in Kakashi dismissing them.

Scrambling to add _some _sort of impression on the kids that he wasn't someone to trifle with – the mysterious introduction _clearly _hadn't worked – Kakashi was quick to shout a passing comment after them. "Don't eat breakfast, either, as you might lose it."

Naruto's voice drifted up from the stairwell seconds later, mocking Kakashi with its echo. "Okay _mum_!"

"Damn kids," Kakashi seethed to an empty audience, "so cocksure these days. Tomorrow is a day where I'll teach them a lesson they won't ever forget."

* * *

"Oh," Naruto said offhandedly to his fellow loopers as they headed up the stairs to his apartment to scheme some more for the test, "by the way, Kakashi is probably setting up a shitload of traps at the training ground in retribution for us being little shits."

Sakura stared sourly at the blond as he fumbled for his keys in his pocket. "…Fuck you, Naruto. Fuck you so hard."

Naruto winked slyly at Sakura as he pushed the keys into the door. "Maybe after we win tomorrow."

The blond didn't have a chance to unlock and open the door, as the force of his body slamming into it courtesy of a punch from Sakura was more than enough to send it splintering off of its hinges.

"Idiots…" Sasuke muttered as he skirted Naruto's downed form that was brutally being slammed into with the broken door by Sakura. "The both of you."

* * *

"Y-You pass…" a completely frazzled and burnt Kakashi managed to mutter out, a puff of black smoke escaping alongside his words.

A joined cheer of joy and excitement came out of Sakura and Naruto's lips at that, the two of them turning to hug each other. Beside them Sasuke merely nodded approvingly as he crossed his arms, like he'd always known Kakashi would give them the all-clear to become a genin team – and why shouldn't the man? I mean, he'd let them pass when Sasuke and Sakura had been young brats ignoring Naruto's pleas for them to team up, so why wouldn't he let them pass when they'd worked together flawlessly and managed to get several hits on the man?

"I'm too old for this shit," Kakashi muttered to himself as he simultaneously watched Naruto drag Sasuke into the group hug and patted his burnt hair sadly. "I just hope that this team will hurry up and pass the Chunin Exams so I don't have to keep them around…"

**Rewind.**

* * *

**Play.**

"How the fuck does it take us _six rewinds _to get to _actually performing __**D-rank missions?!" **_

"Calm down Sakura," Naruto said soothingly to the girl as they made their way towards through one of Konoha's many forests to where Sasuke was with their mission objective. "It was just a couple of experimentations that ended in failures. Besides, we've got all the time in the world!"

Sakura's eye twitched. "'_Ended in failures?' _Naruto, you were the one who got us **blown up **before we could even get to become a team with Kakashi-sensei _again_."

"Hey," Naruto pouted, "in my defence, Sasuke was the one who suggested to try and combine the Chidori and Rasengan together!"

"And that ended _so well_," Sakura snapped out sarcastically as she pushed her way through a thicket of underbrush that was so common in Konoha's forests. "Just—where the bloody fuck _is _Sasuke anyways? He said he'd caught Tora, so where the hell is he with the damn beast?"

Almost as if answering her questions, the trees parted ahead to reveal a clearing containing Sasuke with his back turned to them.

"Hey, Sasuke—" started Naruto, but was swiftly interrupted by a wild round of giggles coming from Sasuke.

Both Sakura and Naruto stopped in their tracks at the unexpected sound, confusion slathered across their youthful faces. They exchanged a glance at one another, communicating their thoughts through screwed up expressions; _you go, no you go, he's your best friend, but he's your crush, ex-crush excuse you..._

Eventually Sakura just shoved Naruto forwards to deal with the situation, steadfastly ignoring the reproachful look that Naruto gave her in response.

In seeing that he'd get no help from Sakura, Naruto hesitantly inched his way towards Sasuke, who had his back firmly to his teammates as he fiddled with something in his arms. "Hey….Sasuke, what's wrong?"

"Wrong?" the Uchiha replied in a hysterically high voice, back still turned to them. "What's wrong is that this _damn infernal creature is still walking the Earth!" _The dark-haired boy spun around to reveal a lopsided grin and a visibly struggling and muzzled Tora trussed up in his arms. "But I'm going to fix it."

"Oh Kami," Sakura said almost to herself, "are those _grade three _explosive seals on that cat?"

Sasuke grinned. "Yep! More than enough to make it rain cat guts!" He then began to shift away from his teammates, heedless of their demands for him to _stop, just fucking stop!_

Without any warning whatsoever, Sasuke promptly dropped Tora onto his swinging foot and launched the cat into one of the most impressive dropkicks that Naruto or Sakura had seen – and Naruto had made both the incredibly violent Tsunade and Sakura _spitting mad _over many loops.

Naruto and Sakura could only watch with open mouths as Tora sailed off into the blue sky above, barely registering that, when the cat reached its peak altitude, Sasuke let out a crazed giggle and activated the explosive seals with a mere handsign.

Both Naruto and Sakura quickly shut their mouths when shreds of cat began raining down on them and majority of the residence of Konoha in a ten kilometre radius. It would've been a beautiful sight, what with the red and brown confetti falling gracefully to the ground, but it was _cat confetti_, so…

"…We need to rewind right now," Sakura said carefully, scared to disrupt the silence following the large boom of exploding cat.

The other two didn't offer an answer, too busy listening out for the disgusted screams when people realised the confetti smelt like iron and expensive shampoos.

"Nah," Naruto said finally when the screams began in the distance, "I want to see where this goes."

* * *

Sakura watched hollowly as the cell door slid across and locked with a final bang.

The Chunin guard who had been posted to watch over them in case they tried anything funny – like escaping and killing the Daimiyo himself to cause yet another political uproar in Konoha – smirked at them from behind the bars. "While I admit it was pretty great to see that demonic cat dead, you probably should've done it in a way that looked accidental, or at least denied everything instead of openly admitting it was you."

"I have no regrets," Sasuke said firmly, "none at all. This was a brilliant plan and I'm sticking with it."

"Now look where we've gone," Sakura hissed to Naruto while the guard was busy laughing at Sasuke's blank face, "Sasuke's gone nuts and we're in jail! Nice going, idiot."

Naruto offered a shrug as he placed his arms behind his head and kicked back to lean against the cold stone wall that made up part of their tiny holding cell. "Like Sasuke said; 'I have no regrets.' Live a little, Sakura."

"I'm going to be living thousands of times over thanks to you," Sakura snapped back, "and I'm going to make sure that _at least _the next _hundred _is spent kick _your _ass."

"That'd make a change in pace," Naruto said easily. "Let's do it!"

* * *

**Short, I know, but it's just something to quickly toss out for y'all.**

**Ciao.**


End file.
